So what if it’s *technically* a decade and a half early? Think of the discounts!

Believe me, after reading the back of the letter that outlined all the benefits, it’s a pretty good gig!

I am kids today.

I loathe you.

You really know when you’re getting old when everything is too loud but you can’t really hear anything in particular. It’s just all loud. And how about when you pull muscles doing athletic things like riding on the bus or walking to get the paper? Ever have a back spasm while reaching for an index card?

Fuck tha police.

Like tearing your rotator cuff like some pitcher who logged 250 innings last year?

And you in particular are old because you run the letter in a fairly massive scale but still give the option of enlarging it.

I’m right there with you, Bucko. I’m blind, nearly deaf and I fell in the shower recently and hurt my hip.

One of my friends recently teased about signing me up for AARP. I haven’t gotten any offers yet, but let me know if there are any referral benefits, and I’ll register ASAP.

I’m sure there are some benefits to referring fellow geriatrics. I’ll let you know.

Ah but I was just a child when I sprained my wrist punching you.

One of the greatest moments of my life. My right bicep fractured your wrestler-strong wrist.

I was giggling from the quote forward, but it’s the not recognizing cheese part that made me laugh out loud.

Everyone knows older men are more attractive to women than young guys. So you can look forward to that benefit.

I’ve already got the graying beard in my favor, then!

Not only am I kids today, but I reap loads of enjoyment in regularly pointing out just how old and decrepit you are, in both the mental and physical sense.

Sucks being you, huh?

You almost get TOO much enjoyment out of it.

I got mine shortly after I turned 30. It’s like they want to kick you when you’re down.

I can’t believe that memory loss isn’t on your list. But then again, it’s not surprising you forgot it, considering.

I KNEW you’d be the one to notice that! I purposely “forgot” to mention memory loss but was unsure if anyone would notice.

As always, WiB, you impress me.

someone told me this morning that i was ageing very well….wtf?? is that a compliment?? guess ill see ya at the early bird buffet
xoxo

I went with my grandparents once to a buffet dinner at 5:30 and thought it was the greatest thing in the world.

I’d like a referral too, please. Apparently, being over 30 qualifies me as “old”, as expressed to my students, who gasp in shock when they find out I was born in the 70s

That, apparently, is the “in” decade for AARP recruitment.

Good Lord, the SEVENTIES?

Does it hurt you that I was born in 1984? StartingToday and I had lunch earlier and she was surprised that I was under 27. Is this a good thing?

Yes. It always will be.

You did tell me to eat my vegetables once.

I would never tell you that.

But I might tell you to go buy me some Werther’s.

I can’t wait for your entry into the world of pulled up black socks and sandals.

Um, I’m kind of already there.

I would like Baby Bien to get a job as the in-house gynecologist for the AARP.

I’m older than you and I haven’t even gotten one of those letters.

You’re just making it worse.

I realized I was old, at the tender age of 26, the last time I was at the 9:30 Club. All those damn kids, with their talking and their bumping in to me and their inability to hold their liquor, enraged me.

I am one step away from a James Taylor concert, I am sure.

Even I won’t ever knowingly go to a James Taylor concert. I was really close to buying Bright Eyes tickets through a pre-sale recently when I thought about how many kids would be at the show.

You also complained about the small type on my blog. You said it was hard to read.

That being said, I do many of those things as well, so I may just join your old persons bandwagon…

So you’re saying that your font is NOT too small to read and that I’m just too old? Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say…

You are only as old as you feel. And I feel like I’ve got five members of the Elks Lodge in my pants.

At least we’ll be able to get discounts at Denny’s!

Have people started offering you their seat on the Metro yet? I hate it when people don’t offer their seat to senior citizens.

at 31 i just might be considered a cougar (pls see latest blog post). wtf is happening? i thought 30 was the new 20????

that would be me ^

Think you feel old now? Wait till the Princess reminds you that you got the same letter two years ago and made the same complaint, but that you’d forgotten all about it.

Enjoying buffets is not old. Enjoying buffets is frugal. Old is driving around the old neighborhood for two hours desperately searching for the delicatessen you distinctly remember was right around here 7 years ago.

[…] Buffet-loving and forgetful, Arjewtino may be AARP material. The organization thinks so. […]

I received an AARP letter when I turned 21. My parents both turned 50 that year. My father received a letter; my mother did not. Now, if our names were similar, you could slightly understand the mistake. However, the only thing our names have in common is that they both start with “M”. I should have taken the benefits.

Wait until the day when you realize that you *DO* qualify for the Senior ticket at the movies and you hesitate — but only for a moment. After all, it two bucks!

I got the same letter (I am 33).. only because I am a girl, I cried. I know AARP is trying to appeal to 30-somethings (it’s never too early to .. um.. get discounts for being older!), but really.. come on AARP, at least wait until I am having a crisis over being 40.

Now that I have the damn card, I complain about all my aches and pains, shuffle the streets, eat dinner at 4:30 p.m. and go to bed at 9 p.m.

Damn you AARP!