From the category archives:
After watching two Jews, a black dude, and some Phelps guy who reminds me of McLovin on steroids win the men’s Olympic 4×100m relay the other day, I phoned The Princess to tell her the exciting story over how they came back to beat the French.
Ever the sports enthusiast, all she could talk about was [...]
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I don’t mind getting old. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.*
It finally happened, the moment I didn’t imagine would come for at least another decade-and-a-half:
A REGISTRATION LETTER FROM THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF RETIRED PERSONS:
Click to enlarge
Eighteen years before I’m eligible, the AARP sent me the letter above last week indicating [...]
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Alarm clock didn’t go off. Trains were slow. Passengers were rude. Early meetings were scheduled.
I hope my day ends better than this guy’s:
Click to enlarge. Via Yadogg.
Update: It didn’t end so badly after all. Watch to the end.
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I’ve got a guilty pleasure I have to own up to. I love Orbitz games.
These simple, undemanding, even-a-caveman-could-play-them online games created by the Internet travel company are as addicting as blogs, Gene Weingarten’s weekly live chat, and fantasy baseball.
They were created by Orbitz in 2005 to promote its travel service. Apparently, it’s had [...]
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Pretty sneaky, Princess.
While waiting out Saturday night’s thunderstorm, The Princess and I ducked into my favorite bar Bedrock Billiards in Adams Morgan for a couple of beers.
We lounged on the broken couch and drank PBR (me) and cider (her). The Princess then offered to play me at Connect Four. “Ha ha, [...]
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“I used to be with it, but then they changed what “it†was. Now, what I’m with isn’t “itâ€, and what’s “it†seems weird and scary to me.†— Grandpa Simpson
Do the kids still stay “keep it real†and “fo-shizzle� Do people still watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Is anyone still [...]
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I have several feet of gauze and tape wrapped around my right-hand index finger. I wish I could tell you it’s because I injured it saving orphans from a burning building or knocking out some douchebag who was groping my girlfriend. But I can’t.
I have an infected hangnail.
This emasculating affliction has relegated me [...]
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“What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?” — Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber
It’s clear that men and women have no idea how to use pickup lines. The overuse of astrology inquiries, bad puns, and faulty idioms has made a mockery of these conversation starters [...]
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I see you there, no use hiding. Come on out, it’s ok. No one will make fun of you. At least not to your face.
Being a “personâ€, I share many commonalities with other “peopleâ€. Among them is a certain anxiety that friends, family members, and strangers might “find out†that I am NOT the personification [...]
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