This economuc stimulus tax rebate is making everyone stupid

May

This economic stimulus tax rebate is making everyone stupid

Filed Under (The Internets) by on 16-05-2008

I received my $600 tax rebate yesterday which, if you have been paying attention, is part of the government’s brilliant plan to SAVE US ALL!

This is great news, considering I had to pay the comptroller of Maryland $958.39 in taxes this year. Writing that check was as fun as punching myself in the balls. Since then, aside from cursing liberal taxation policies run amok, I have been eagerly awaiting my $600 tax rebate so I could stimulate the economy as I saw fit.

Stimulating this cock-blocker of an economy isn’t as easy as you think, apparently. Journalists have been writing incessantly about what to do with your money, financial “experts” have been doling out advice like it’s going out of style (it’s not), and bloggers have been asking readers for advice on what to do with the found cash.

Why is this so fucking hard? It’s money! You’ve seen money before, you know how to use it. Do what you normally would do with money. Save it, spend it, invest it, roll around naked on it (otherwise known as Fridays for me), open a sweatshop overseas, adopt a Myanmar child, whatever.

So why is everyone freaking out about it? It’s like someone handed you a free sandwich and you turned to your friend or a stranger and asked, “What should I do with this?” Are you new to this concept?

New York Magazine even had a story recently on 18 ways to blow your newfound load. The article was slightly tongue-in-cheek, but I bet a lot of New Yorkers (anyone else read this magazine other than me?) took it to heart.

There’s even a Web site called How I Spent My Stimulus that is sort of like a Postsecret (only less scary) that allows readers to submit their photos and stories over how they spent their cash. Some of the reader-submitted content is boring (Disney World?) while others are original and funny (like buying Euros).

So what am I planning to do with my $600?

You’ll have to wait and see.

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Comments

Shannon on 16 May, 2008 at 10:26 am #

I am planning on buying exciting stuff, like food and shelter. Or maybe I’ll blow it all on crack pipes and gummy bears.

Shannon’s last blog post..Friday’s Story: Hitchhike to Hoodbridge

lacochran on 16 May, 2008 at 11:02 am #

Obligatorysendittome: Send it to me!

Why aren’t there more scams popping up to help part people from their ill-gotten goods-er, checks? I want to see “Buy a piece of history: buy this used gum that was attached to the genuine, original WW Bridge.” or similar clap trap.

lacochran’s last blog post..At a different RPM

rs27 on 16 May, 2008 at 11:44 am #

I’m using my stimulus check to buy some sweet peach o’s. I heard its good for the economy if I do.

rs27’s last blog post..Shut Up When I’m Talking To You

I-66 on 16 May, 2008 at 1:48 pm #

Whores.

Card carrying elitist on 16 May, 2008 at 2:09 pm #

in return for your measly $948, you got a road to drive on, subsidized public transit, parks, lights, schools that don’t suck (since you’re not in DC) and firetrucks.

Stop your right wing bellyaching.

Naomi on 16 May, 2008 at 2:09 pm #

I actually did buy euros. I was in spain when I got mine

Beach Bum on 16 May, 2008 at 2:48 pm #

The disadvantage of not paying income taxes is that I don’t get any extra money

(and yes, the not paying taxes is legal, it’s actually not an option in my case, and unfortunately with my huge mortgage interest rates, paying taxes would probably be an advantage for me…)

Beach Bum’s last blog post..DC 101 Chili Cook Off - a post with pictures!

jordanbaker on 16 May, 2008 at 6:12 pm #

I’m going to put it on a gift card at my salon, so that even if I somehow end up completely broke, I can still get my eyebrows waxed for at least the next. . . .(doing math). . . 9 months to a year (assuming normal rates of eyebrow growth).

jordanbaker’s last blog post..Top Chef: Listen, all a’ y’all, it’s SABOTAGE. . .or not.

Not So Little Woman on 16 May, 2008 at 7:43 pm #

I’m paying a pet fee to an apartment complex. Whoo-hoo. Phhhhh
Not So Little Woman’s last blog post..I’ll be loving them forever

milanomiss on 16 May, 2008 at 8:07 pm #

…I didn’t even get the stimulus check, my return was a whopping $83 bucks. Go, College.

milanomiss’s last blog post..When Life gives you lemons

Connie on 17 May, 2008 at 2:43 am #

We plan on putting our money back in our bank - where it should have been all along.

Connie’s last blog post..The Concert

Dan on 18 May, 2008 at 7:22 am #

This stimulus check will be used to help cover our rising food bills and to help pay for gas.

Dan’s last blog post..Playlist 25 Survives the Plague and Zombies