Shamrock Fest 2008

Mar

Shamrock Fest 2008 as told by…

Filed Under (DC) by Arjewtino on 17-03-2008

…a scared little boy

I want my mommy! Where is she? She said we were going to the circus but I don’t see emephants or gowillas. This isn’t a circus. Why won’t these big boys leave me alone? I don’t want to slap your hand, you big dummies! You’re a poopie and you stink. I’m just going to hide down here where no one can see me. Mommy, where are you? Save me, pwease! I pwomise to clean up my room from now on, just make these mean boys leave me alone! Hey, a nickel!

…a discarded beer bottle

I’m not even supposed to be here today. Can’t these drunk fuckwads read the sign? NO OUTSIDE DRINKS OR BOTTLES ALLOWED! Do I look like a plastic cup to you? You guys really don’t appreciate the containers that help you get drunk. What would you do without me? Hold your beer in the palm of your hands? I don’t think so. I am supposed to be recycled, damn it! But no, I’m on the fucking ground fucking getting kicked around like a Guatemalan hooker. I hope you drunk idiots are happy with your VIP passes and your loud music and your…, watch it! That fucking hurts! I want to be re-incarnated!

…two drunk people making out

Drunk Dude: I love this girl. Look how cool she is. She’s making out with me at Shamrock Fest. She must really love me. I think I’m going to introduce her to my mom. Five minutes ago, my buddy Travis was introducing me as some chick he works with. Now, she’s all over me. Awesome. I am so awesome. Wait, what’s her name again? Who cares! I’m totally over Jessica anyway, that bitch. Breaking up with me the day before Shamrock Fest. Saying I’m immature. Whatever. Who’s immature NOW, Jessica? I’m on top of the world! Well, actually, on the ground in a parking lot, but whatever. I win, Jessica, I win!

Drunk Chick: If this doesn’t make Travis jealous I don’t know what will.

…a pyramid of beer cups

Dude, I know what you’re thinking: I am so getting laid! Look at what I made. A pyramid of beer cups. I am so industrious. Well let me fill you in on something, Imhotep, nobody cares. All you have done is created within people an inexplicable urge to knock me down. Look at everyone eyeballing me. A minute ago they were chugging and tossing dozens of little me’s on the ground. Now they’re looking at me like they’re in Giza and I’m…shit, here comes some drunk fuck…easy, easy, no, don’t! Fuck.

…Foxymoron’s squished face

Who came up with this brilliant idea? Probably Arjewtino. Hey, Culinary Couture, he probably said, let’s squish Foxymoron’s face in between our chests! And why did I agree to this, exactly? It hurts more than I thought it would. Whatever, it’s Shamrock Fest and I’m a VIP drinking for free. Could be worse. It could be Arjewtino and Baby Bien.

Photo credits: A couple of Flickr users I don’t remember and my sweet ass friends who came to Shamrock Fest 2008 with me.

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Comments

kerrie on 17 March, 2008 at 9:25 am #

I totally smooched that beer cup pyramid guy. Oy.

Oh yeah, forgot about that. Then you ran back like a giddy little schoolgirl.

I-66 on 17 March, 2008 at 9:27 am #

You should’ve thought-bubbled the cup on the two people making out that you kicked onto them.

I-66’s last blog post..Shammered.

The “thought bubbles” at that moment were everywhere. God knows what people were thinking.

Lemmonex on 17 March, 2008 at 9:27 am #

Wow. Hope you loved it, FoxyMoron.

I have said it before and I will say it again…I am not responsible for the behavior of my breasts. They are their own separate entity and have their own agenda. Much like my drunk vagina…I really cannot control her either.

Lemmonex’s last blog post..Inaugural DC Food Blogger Potluck

And here comes 50 more…

Sassy on 17 March, 2008 at 9:43 am #

Those people rolling on the ground really are something. God, I miss America.

Sassy’s last blog post..One more reason to talk about vaginas :

The one photo I didn’t get was of the guy who tried to beat up one of my friends. I got in his way to calm him down. I think it was mostly posturing but I was still hoping for some photographic evidence of my bravery.

H on 17 March, 2008 at 9:48 am #

thanks for giving me something more interesting to read today than German history

Today? Isn’t that everyday?

Shannon on 17 March, 2008 at 10:17 am #

Lemmonex, right now I’m picturing breasts with Dr. Strangelove Syndrome, detaching themselves and flying about all over the place.

My brain is NOT a pleasant place to be.

Shannon’s last blog post..Friday’s Story: Profiles in Occupational Hotness

That is a frighteningly real depiction of what Saturday was like. For everyone.

Hello Giambi's Head on 17 March, 2008 at 10:35 am #

Looks like enough fuckwads to fill an entire stadium.

There were enough fuckwads in the VIP area lone to fill RFK. For a soccer match, anyway.

Judy C on 17 March, 2008 at 10:43 am #

As I looked at these photos I have to cope with the fact that my 17 year old who looks 21 is at the parade - even as I type - celebrating St. Patrick’s day in a city that for all intents and purposes turns into a bar on March 17th.

Oh, and by the way, even though he is 25%
croation, 50% hungarian, 24% bullshit and 1% irish my jewish son has perfected a brogue in honor of his homeland - Ireland.

Somewhere today, a rabbi weeps.

Judy C’s last blog post..Bang the Drum for Earth Hour and Shape + Colour

This makes me sad, too. You don’t see me drinking vodka everyday because my grandma was born in Russia.

At least, it’s not for that reason.

Huge Giambi Headache on 17 March, 2008 at 11:50 am #

Nor do we see you wearing a sombrero and poncho, though we should.

And yelling “Andale, andale!”

Red on 17 March, 2008 at 1:12 pm #

I can’t believe I didn’t see you guys. I can’t believe I didn’t see that couple. I did, however, see some guy moon us and he had an awesome ass! Did you see that one?

I was looking for you all day but I knew it would prove futile to run into you accidentally. I could barely find my friends and we had cell phones.

I-66 on 17 March, 2008 at 1:17 pm #

What the hell, Red? Who wants to see a guy’s ass?

I-66’s last blog post..Shammered.

You always want to see mine.

Wendy on 17 March, 2008 at 1:28 pm #

Reminds me of the Irish Version of the infield at the Kentucky Derby. The picture of the couple on the ground is priceless…would make a great Mastercard ad.
Shamrock Fest Ticket: 20 bucks
Beer: 5 bucks (just guessing)
Kissing Random Stranger on the pavement: Priceless

Wendy’s last blog post..How Not To Make Smores

It was in the VIP area, so more like:

Shamrock Fest VIP Ticket: 80 bucks
Crappy Beer: free
Kissing Random Stranger on the pavement and getting your photo posted on a blog: Priceless

Wendy on 17 March, 2008 at 2:13 pm #

yeah, you did it much better

Wendy’s last blog post..Dear US Magazine - enough of Heidi Montag already!

Potato, potahto.

roissy on 17 March, 2008 at 2:56 pm #

nice bulbous… sunglasses lemmonex.

btw, your pose reminds me of that scene in austin powers when the robochicks start shooting from their nips.

roissy’s last blog post..Ironic Hipster Happy Hour

But not mine, right?

janet on 17 March, 2008 at 3:13 pm #

If that’s how the VIPs roll remind me not to attend next year in the peon section

Imagine what the zoo was like in the non-VIP area. The trick is to surround yourself with friends to protect you. Like a moat.

Not So Little Woman on 17 March, 2008 at 5:46 pm #

My favorite was the bottle one. Although the kid squatting was great too… It made me think of how they look when they are wearing diapers and taking a dump…

Not So Little Woman’s last blog post..Tic-Toc

E :) on 17 March, 2008 at 7:34 pm #

That little kid is pretty astute. Or drunk. I can’t figure out which.

E :)’s last blog post..The OMFG edition…

Shannon on 18 March, 2008 at 1:02 pm #

I just noticed that the making-out girl is clutching her cellphone. I don’t know why, but that really disturbs me. Was she planning on placing a few calls while the guy chewed on her tonsils?

Shannon’s last blog post..Wedding Season in Hell

Good catch, I hadn’t seen that. Maybe she was waiting for an important call from her boyfriend.

Julie_Gong on 25 March, 2008 at 3:43 pm #

I went to Shamrock Fest last year. I walked away from that parking lot with a lot of bruises and a possible case of alcohol poisoning. One of my top 5 St Pat’s celebrations though. So much fun!

Julie_Gong’s last blog post..Monday + Drinking = Bad Idea