I, too, know what it’s like to run for President of the United States (sort of)

I know EXACTLY what Barack Obama is going through.

Poised tonight to secure his party’s nomination, Obama is still facing criticism from Hillary supporters over not choosing Clinton as his running mate.

But based on my own experience running for high office, I wouldn’t have picked her, either.

In 1997, I ran for editor-in-chief (EIC) of my school newspaper. After one year as News Editor and two years as staff writer at the New University newspaper (I know, crappy name), I ran in what turned out to be an ugly election full of sabotage attempts, double-crosses, and ratfucking.

Ok, no ratfucking. That was Nixon.

The battle for EIC started in the spring of 1997 when I decided to run for office. Though there were a couple of people who considered running, no one else threw his hat in the ring. It was shaping up to be a one-man race.

I asked the sports editor, a popular yet ambitious blonde woman named Kirsten to be my managing editor (like vice president). She said yes.

With the lack of competition and a seemingly unified ticket, the position was, though undemocratic, all but mine.

But shortly after accepting, she approached me at the New U. offices and told me she had decided to run against me.

The next few weeks involved secret meetings among staff writers, private debates, and vote-swaying attempts. There might have even been a slush fund.

My opponents tried to paint me as a candidate who was too arrogant (true), inexperienced (not true), and who had no plan (half true).

Sound familiar? Obviously, I know exactly what Obama is going through.

Yes, I, too, was ambitious. I wanted to be president EIC so bad I took an extra year of college just to run.

The day of the election finally came. The process called for both candidates making speeches while the other was outside of the room. After the speeches, the staff held an open debate about what we said while Kirsten and I stood outside chatting awkwardly.

Obviously, I didn’t know what was said during this private staff discussion. Kirsten and I spoke amiably and promised each other high editor positions no matter who won the election.

But what I learned much later that the scene inside the room was heated. Almost, some said, violent.

Staff writers yelled at each other. My supporters clashed with her supporters. Accusations of ineptitude (aimed at both of us) flew.

At one point, I eventually learned, my then-girlfriend and a girl I had hooked up with (whoops) got into a screaming match. Unfortunately, this did not devolve into an underwear-tearing boob-grabbing mud wrestling match.

Then they voted.

After what felt like hours, my friend Dickly, who was the current Managing Editor at the time, finally came outside to render the results.

He stuck his hand out, turned to face me, and said, “Congratulations, you’re the new Editor-in-Chief.”

There is a famous scene in the 1972 film The Candidate in which Robert Redford, after winning his election for the U.S. Senate, turns to his campaign manager, and says, “What do we do now?”

What DO I do now, I remember thinking. In a decision I would eventually regret when she spent my entire tenure as EIC undercutting my authority, I asked Kirsten again to be my Managing Editor.

Out of options, she said yes.

Thank you, Obama, for at least learning from my mistakes.

photo credit