I started the 2008 softball season with high hopes.
One year after leading my team — Pew’s Your Daddy — in batting average (.650) and slugging percentage (1.325) and just a few months removed from proving I could still play real baseball at Dodgers fantasy camp, I thought I would have THE GREATEST SOFTBALL SEASON IN THE HISTORY OF ORGANIZED RECREATIONAL SPORTS.
I didn’t know it was possible, and it’s difficult to admit, but I just might be past my softball prime.
Going into today’s final regular season game, I’m batting under .500 (I’m not keeping the team stats this year) with ZERO homeruns. This is not good.
I have had three total games this season with no hits. Until last week when I finally got a double, I went 0-2 in back-to-back games for the first time in my life. I have choked with runners in scoring position and was even demoted from the three-hole in the lineup by my 24-year-old field manager.
Luckily, though, I have had some redeeming moments, like my stellar, Gold Glove-winning play at shortstop (a feat that would make Maury Wills proud).
And my two-year stretch without yelling at an opposing deaf player.
But the best part of this statistically inferior 2008 season has been my teammates. I have had more fun playing on this year’s team of misfits, wonks, and geeks than I ever have in my previous seven softball seasons.
Slaughtering weaker opponents; coming back from deep deficits to win; awaking our “angry bats” against our bitter, 420-themed rivals; racing to the Vietnam War Memorial to save the field every week; hiding cans of beer from the U.S. Park Police in our gloves and tinted cups; drunken nights at the Froggy Bottom; and yelling at kickball players to get off our field. All of it has been fun.
And it makes me sad and a bit nostalgic to think it’ll all be over soon.
This weekend’s playoffs will come and go, the cool fall will descend upon the city, and my teammates will move into winter and the rest of their lives. And though I might not make any all-star berths anytime soon, there’s always an offseason of conditioning to look forward to.
And steroids.
Thanks, Daddies, for another great year:
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
We pretty much suck. But we’re awfully good at the drinking.
Pew’s Your Daddy.
Oh the humor.
Don’t worry under 500 isn’t so bad. Oh you said softball.
Nevermind
rs27’s last blog post..Callin All Freaks Now
*ahem* you gave up kickball to just reinforce it w/ more drinking at softball… i see how it is.
lol, j/k. Sounds like a fun season, old man!
but you can still flip it to the third basemen and have him throw out an obese runner.
Do the words “old Jew” ring a bell - my ex (No. 3 on the Men of Five Husbands parade of stars)turns 52 this year and still plays softball every weekend with a bunch of alta cockers. You may want to start stock piling ace bandages and icy hot packs - I’ve seen your future and it isn’t pretty!
Judy C’s last blog post..(T)HORTON HEARS A WTF?
i think you just wanted another excuse to link to your dodger fantasy camp story. I’m surprised there wasn’t an Arjewtino baseball card giveaway with this post, too!
I don’t want any of these self-defeating thoughts entering your head any more. We won some play-off games and we need you at tip-top shape when we come back in two weeks. You got that?