After the New York football Giants lost to the Washington Redskins 22-10 more than five weeks ago, the team’s chances in the weak NFC playoffs didn’t look so hot.
Though the Giants’ record was 9-5 and they had come back from an 0-2 start to the season, they weren’t playing consistent football and quarterback Eli Manning looked so bad every Sunday I half-expected to see his brother Peyton give him a priceless pep talk over his headset.
That’s when my friend Baby Bien made a bet he couldn’t lose. Except he did.
Baby Bien bet his buddy Terry $300 the Giants wouldn’t make it to the Super Bowl. Terry, being either a huge Giants fan or some sort of clairvoyant freak, picked a team that would have to play on the road throughout the playoffs, a team that seemed to be in a constant state of chaos, a team at least one fan blogger picked to go winless for the year.
I told Baby Bien it was a good bet. Everyone told him it was a good bet. And it was. Why would anyone gamble 300 clams that my third least-liked NFL team would make the Super Bowl unless he was crazy?
But then Baby Bien did something he probably shouldn’t have. He angered the sports gods.
Look, I don’t believe in fate or ghosts or that Jesus is magic. But I do believe in sports superstition. You think your team is winning because you’re watching them on TV? Or not watching them on TV? Or because you’re sitting in a certain spot? Or because you dress up in your wife’s underwear? Then they are winning because of that.
And any universe where something as illogical as superstition can have an effect on your team can sure as hell get pissed at you for blaspheming another team. So when Baby Bien decided to start calling Eli Manning by his given name — Elisha — and get cocky about his iron-clad guaranteed win, it was only a matter of time before he would kiss his $300 goodbye.
The Giants beat the Green Bay Packers on Sunday night to win the NFC championship, playing one of the most exciting games I have ever seen involving two teams I cared nothing about (for a great live-blog post that I was following during the game, read THIS).
I must admit, there was part of me that took some pleasure in Baby Bien’s misfortune. I mean, he lost $300. On a bet. That he should have won. That he couldn’t lose. Thanks, in part, to a man with a girl’s name. Who he made fun of.
I’m not saying that Baby Bien calling Eli “Elisha” made the Giants win. I’m sure, from a rational point of view, his bet had absolutely nothing to do with the game’s outcome.
But every sports fan knows you should tread water lightly in the pools of fate. These games come down to something greater than anything we can understand. How do you explain the 1988 Dodgers? Or the 1980 U.S. hockey team? Or Nitro on “American Gladiators”?
Baby Bien, I’m sorry you lost 300 bucks, mostly because you won’t be able to buy me a Miller High Life anytime soon. I’m sure you can’t see the moral from your tale of woe yet but believe me, there is one.
I’ll bet you anything there is.
Did you really have to use a photo from the Cowboys game? That hurts.
PS, for the first time in my life, I am boycotting the Super Bowl. I’m sick of the Pats, and if the Giants win…I can’t even contemplate a world with the Giants as Super Bowl winners.
belmontmedina’s last blog post..emmitt never fails to amaze me
Don’t worry, Brady is going to rape Manning in this game.
For the record, the bet was made on 12/12, which also happens to be my birthday. I am accepting cash gifts from anyone that missed it so I can knock down this debt.
And GO PATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At that time, they were just coming off a win at Philadelphia and were sitting at 9-4. And it was still a good bet, even before they lost to the Skins.
Elisha? Is this a unisex name? That’s an even tougher break than losing $300.
Go pats!
Lemmonex’s last blog post..Whatta Man
Maybe it’s like being named Ashley. Or Terry. Or Lemmonex.
Was this at least with something like 10 to 1 odds? Or did Terry wager $300 straight up? Regardless of whether he won, that’s a silly move 99 times out of 100.
Straight up. That’s what’s so weird about Terry’s complete and total blind faith in the Giants. It was a stupid bet on his part, but he won anyway.
Reason number 512 I’m confused by the male species. You don’t see women running around blowing our hard earned cash betting one another that the La Perla panties we’ve been oggling will go on sale by January 25. Cause that would be just dumb.
Now, smart betting, like poker or blackjack - that’s a different story. Those bets I understand.
But this? This confuses me. Explain.
Mandy’s last blog post..you oughta know
Smarter men than me can try to deconstruct the male mind when it comes to betting on events over which they have no control. There is a certain aggressive machismo element to it, I think, that is relegated almost strictly to the male mind.
I love playing blackjack but I know when to stop, win or lose. I see each $5 chip as an opportunity to win more $5 chips. The Princess, though, sees each bet as a lunch she could have bought for herself.
Making a bet that you know you will probably lose is a sign of bravado, like playing russian roulette. It’s the gambling equivalent of saying “who you trying to get crazy with esse? don’t you know i’m loco?”
A real man sees it as “I have an 83% chance of living” rather than “I have a 17% chance of dying”.
I would like to know the other 511 reasons Mandy is confused by men.
I think Kevin from The Office says it best when it comes to betting
“When someone gives you 10000 to 1 odds on anything you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar I’m going to be very very rich.”
rs27’s last blog post..Catalyst
Only men, I think, see odds like that and think, “I could win big money making that bet.” Explains Terry’s capricious wagering.
From GoPats in an e-mail:
“I can’t tell you how much shit talking I have heard from vagiants fans
so far. It’s amazing. You’d think they won the last game by 31 points.
Anyhow, I’ll do my talking at 10 pm on Feb. 3, inshallah.
Motherfuckers.”
Arjewtino’s last blog post..How to lose $300 betting against Elisha and the Giants
$300 on the Giants straight up? That’s crazy. Like betting on the Dodgers to win the NL West. Who would do that?
CollegeGrad’s last blog post..$35 Million Would Be Just Fine
Throat. Punch. Imminent.
First off, YESSSS!! Victory be the Giants’.
Secondly, even as a Giants fan, that bet was fucking retarded. But cheers to BB for winning.
You didn’t finish reading the post got it wrong. BB lost the bet, his buddy Terry, who is obviously a witch, won.
beat the spread
How many times have you typed those words out, in that order, in your lifetime?
rs27 - really?
that’s a mighty long chat ![]()
Mandy’s last blog post..you oughta know
It’s interesting that you said “New York football Giants.” Chris Berman’s use of the term came up on a sports blog I read. It is strange, or at least noteworthy, that the usage persists even though the baseball Giants decamped for San Francisco decades ago.
Talk about another team I hate. Loathe, really. I don’t really hate the football Giants, they’re more of an amusing bother I hope the Skins beat twice a year. But the San Francisco baseball Giants? To this day, I won’t wear orange and black.
Not that I need another reason not to…
Reason number 512 I’m confused by the male species. You don’t see women running around blowing our hard earned cash betting one another that the La Perla panties we’ve been oggling will go on sale by January 25. Cause that would be just dumb.
Now, smart betting, like poker or blackjack - that’s a different story. Those bets I understand.
Yet women as well as men enjoy no-control-over-outcome betting such as slot machines and roulette.
haha. Funny post.
I love that picture of a drunken Eli and his chick. It reminds me of half the pictures ever taken of me.
Jack Goes Forth’s last blog post..Sticks and Stones
I am thankful that most of my drunken antics happened during the pre-digital camera age.
Except for Fourth of July 2005. That was just ugly.
outrageous bets are like the peacock’s tail — it’s a way for men to advertise their fitness by handicapping themselves with risky gambits.
this post brought to you by the “said only half-jokingly” society.
ps: as a g-men fan i am pleased, very pleased. NE must be a little worried after the boys in blue almost robbed their perfect regular season.
roissy’s last blog post..Moving Day Vignette
I honestly don’t think any Pats fans are worried about this game. Everyone’s going to hype it up based on the near-loss to the Jints but I think, in the end, Brady’s going to easily be hoisting up another MVP award in two weeks.
You won’t wear orange and black — or just together? My dad owns zero red (OSU) or green (MSU) clothing. although when I was little he told me that green didn’t look good against his skin, which is funny since it looks good on me.
but we can we stop getting Boston-NY series for things? seriously! At least we don’t have to worry about a Bruins-Rangers cup. thank goodness!
I won’t wear them together. My ex-girlfriend’s parents once bought me a shirt that was blue with a horizontal yellow stripe across the chest. I wore it once before I realized it looked like a Boca Juniors shirt. After that, I never wore it again.
I’m nervous about the gints. They don’t lose on the road. But technically, Glendale is a neutral site, so maybe they’ll suck.
That was a straight up bet? I agree completely with I-66 in that it was a terrible bet by Terry even if he did get lucky and win.
By the way, does anyone outside of New York and New England care about the Super Bowl? Please shoot me when anyone compares the Giants-Patriots with the Red Sox-Yankees or says that Eli(sha) is Peyton’s brother.
Sean’s last blog post..Fun Tuesday Links
Whoops. My post-win delirium clearly hasn’t worn off.