Anti-Discovery Channel protestor loves planet, pays homeless guys to ask for no justice, no peace

I love this planet as much as the next guy.

Sure, I’ve never landed on an Earth-bound meteor with a ragtag group bent on nuking the flaming rock to save the world from Armageddon. But I try to do my part.

For example, every Thursday evening, I manage to take out the trash and recycling bin without mixing them up. That takes a lot of effort since I’m usually drunk off my ass after watching 30 Rock and downing an entire bottle of Mad Dog 20/20.

I also watched the entire Planet Earth series and told people about cool it was. I even blogged on Blog Action Day about offsetting both my carbon and asshole footprints.

See? I care about Global Something and the Ozone Whatever. Like my new favorite blog recently wrote, I like “saving the earth without having to do that much”.

Which is why I just don’t understand how someone could organize an environmental protest against the Discovery Channel.

A man named Lee, who from what I can tell likes wearing hats and taking out full-page ads in the newspaper, has organized a protest against the Discovery Channel’s environmental programs, which he deems “are causing more harm than good”.

Lee said that he has been protesting outside the channel’s Silver Spring building since last Friday and plans to continue it until this Saturday, or until they start airing shows that “actually work”, whichever comes first. I went to Silver Spring last night for some Baja Fresh and walked by the Discovery building. Lee was not there. This means he either (1) gave up, (2) was hiding, or (3) was arrested by the environmental police.

UPDATE: I saw Lee’s rambling, full-page ad in The Onion on Monday. I wrote this post that evening but didn’t publish it until today. Turns out, DCist wrote yesterday that Lee has been paying homeless guys to join his protest. This one-man protest (not including homeless guys) just got much, much sadder.

Now, I am no stranger to political protests and believe they can, under the right circumstances, bring about real democratic change. They’re also great ways to meet chicks and get out of work.

And while I applaud Lee’s determination to do something, I’m not sure he understands a principle fact lost in his hubris -– he is coming across as a whack job.

For example, on his Web site, Lee declares:

If their ‘environmental’ shows are actually working, then why is the news about the environment getting worse? It should be getting better if they were doing their job and we should be seeing that reflected on the nightly news. But NO! The Discovery Channel is actually not about saving the planet, they are just another ‘green’ corporation whose real interests lies in MONEY! Products! Junk! Trash!”

Excessive exclamation points and uppercase lettering aside, his rhetorical questions are, at best, slightly misguided. Why is the news getting worse despite the Discovery Channel’s efforts? Maybe because we live on an overpopulated planet that has yet to turn the corner on its destructive actions from the past 100 years.

To say Discovery is at fault for its inability to reverse our collective destruction is like blaming ESPN for not creating better athletes. Or NBC for making people fat.

As a result, MySpace commenters are mocking Lee on his MySpace page. The ridicule reminds me of the disdain the smug dog in Duckhunt would show you if you missed a shot.

I might feel compassion for Lee if he didn’t show such hypocritical disregard for his own cause. When one MySpace commenter said she would support him but couldn’t attend the protest because she lives across the country and has two kids, Lee replied, “It’s pretty cheap to get here. It’s ONLY about $250-$400. A bargain.”

Another MySpace commenter instantly flamed him for advocating the use of jet fuel to support an environmental protest.

Lee’s typical replies to the criticism aren’t too coarse. But they do show why people aren’t taking him seriously:

Yes, I tried to be reasonable. But like most planet-destroyers, they would not even listen. I actually went through the submission process with a modified version of Quinn just to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Now, the ‘nice-talking’ is over and the demanding is on!”

And…

We’ll see who laughs last when I succeed at this.”

I have no idea if Lee has been out there everyday as he has claimed but I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I’ll keep recycling and unplugging unused lights and turning off the faucets when not using them. I’ll keep buying cage-free eggs and shopping for local produce. I’ll even not buy an SUV.

But I won’t protest the Discovery Channel. Because Planet Earth was really cool.

UPDATE: This guy took a photo of Lee at his protest. Man, he really likes that hat.