When my friend told me last month he was attending the New Kids on the Block concert in DC with his girlfriend, I did what any considerate, thoughtful friend would do in this situation.
I mocked him until he cried.
He regaled me afterward with stories of absolutely batshit crazy fanatics, women and girls (and some guys, both reluctant boyfriends and gay ones) who went nuts over Donnie, Jordan, Joey, Chandler, and Monica.
The very sight of the reunited boy band made some fans weep, scream, and generally vomit hysteria all over the Verizon Center, he said. Though I didn’t see it for myself, I had no problem believing it since I remember as a teenager all the posters decorating my sister’s bedroom and watching all the girls dance the New Kids’ dances during recess.
On the home movie I found at home last weekend, one of my sister’s friends repeatedly shouts at the camera, “I want to bleep you, Donnie!”
Yes, she actually said “bleep”.
The NKOTB concertgoer is a special breed of fanatic that trumps the regular fan. They are more dangerous than dweebs who line up early for iPhones, bookworms who read the newest Harry Potter in one day, or obsessed chicks who make plans to watch Twilight weeks in advance.
They are the ones who pay hundreds of dollars and drive hundreds of miles to go to their concerts. They force their boyfriends to go with them and, in one case I’m not allowed to blog about, believe they and the New Kids are destined to be together if they could only somehow meet in person.
Luckily, people like this don’t grow on trees or, more specifically, don’t attend blogger happy hours.
So with the coast mostly clear of insane fans, and since there are so many new kids (not New Kids) blogging these days, Roosh, Lemmonex, and I are hosting next week the return of the DC Blogger Happy Hour.
It’s November 21, at 8pm, at Bourbon in Adams Morgan.
If you have a blog, or read a blog, or also think you and a blogger are meant to be together if only you two could meet, then plan on attending. It’s open to EVERYONE.
These events are always a fun time. And between a South American Jew, a Jesus-lookalike, and a token vagina who’s also great in the kitchen, it’s bound to be another legendary night.
Just don’t tell me you want to bleep me.
Comment of the Week
This week’s COW goes to rs27, who leaves consistently funny comments along with his consistently funny blog. Yesterday’s post sparked a flurry of confessions from people who got drunk for the first time, like me, on Zima.
rs27 weighed in:
{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
#1 on my lifetime goals list is to be the top commenter of 2009.
I’m out for blood rs27!
Maxie’s last blog post..Sharing the Link Love
You’ve got a month and a half to figure out how you’re going to do it. I have faith.
I’ll be there. Will you sign my copy of Washingtonian? Kidding. Maybe.
Mb’s last blog post..So bad. So good
I’ll bring my Sharpie just in case you’re not kidding.
Who has 2 thumbs and is not going?
Birthday?
I seem to remember a poll done during the Gulf War with the question “If murder was legal for a day, who would you kill?”
Saddam Hussein was the second choice for Americans to kill, right after the members of NKOTB met their early demise.
Kevin’s last blog post..Measure of a Man
Wow. I still remember the sheer insane level of vitriol aimed at Saddam, so that’s saying something.
Argh ! I live in a bloggerless desert and never get to go to these fun sort of thingies !!! (;
sassy’s last blog post..In progress :
Ah, France, home of wine, cheese, and nearly no bloggers.
I would fall asleep at night when i was like 9 or so listening to the their tapes… does that explain anything? lol…
It explains everything.
capitol idea….if only more bloggers lived here or more people worth meeting did.
Benedict Smith’s last blog post..Benedict Attends a Sexaholics Anonymous Meeting - Boredom Ensues, Realization Results
You mean in DC? Or where you’re from?
You crazy kids and your VD!
LiLu’s last blog post..Ripping the Band-Aid Off: ZOWWWCHIEEEE
So that’s a yes?
Those last three names from the band reminds me of something…
Seinfeld, right?
i’m so there! i’m a dc blogger happy hour virgin.
dmb5_libra’s last blog post..Lets Play In The Rain This Weekend Y’all!
That’ll make you the most popular blogger there.
I’m pretty sure the bloggers here in SD are all crazed lunatics with guns.
Wait. Everyone here has a gun.
Whether they’re crazy or not.
You can come to DC for this if (1) you bring your gun and (2) leave all the other South Dakotans behind.
Dude, I am totally wearing my dinner plat sized Jordan pin…
lemmonex’s last blog post..Blogger Happy Hour: Knowing My Role
Go ahead. I dare you.
Glad to see the Blogger HH starting back up again.
I remember the New Kids arriving at my college campus for a concert, and getting pelted with eggs, stones, etc., as they rode around on their scooters.
Phil’s last blog post..Dallas pastor issues 7-day sex challenge; Playaz arrive at Dallas church to accept challenge
Now they would use Segways. Or electric wheelchairs.
I think you’ll be happy (and surprised) to know that I will NOT be going to the NKOTB concert.
Why? Because they cancelled their Portland show! Broke my heart.
I heard John had too much anxiety to continue.
We won! We won! By we I mean brown people.
Seriously though, if you’re safeguarding any Zima send it my way.
rs27’s last blog post..I’ve Been Searching For the Man In the Mirror
If I’m safeguarding any Zima it must mean it’s 1993 and I’ve discovered the flux capacitor.
At least you know what presents to get your friend for the next few years: NKOTB t-shirts, CDs, fan club membership delivered to his work address, etc..
Wish I could join you for HH… but it’s a long flight… I’ll wait and read about it.
Connie’s last blog post..Egyptian culture and kids
You just don’t want it bad enough.
NKOTB gear? That would require me actually buying that shit.
When I was little I had a NKOTB sleeping bag. Like, a neon green and pink bag emblazoned with their dreamy visages. I also had trading cards and more or less went through puberty the moment I saw Jordan Knight.
Having said all that, I have no desire to see them this time around. None. What can I say, I guess I outgrew the sleeping bag.
You witty DC bloggers make me wish I lived somewhere other than ol’ Smellafax. So that I could bleep you all, obviously.
Aine Caitriona’s last blog post..Our Lady Of Talking Good
I’ll be there for the next (or first?) Halifax Blogger Happy Hour.
Hate to break it to RS27, but Zima is dead.
http://www.bizjournals.com/stlouis/stories/2008/10/20/daily15.html
Marissa’s last blog post..in which balls come up thrice point five times
There is nothing wrong with people who read all each Harry Potter book the day it was released. Nothing.
Love to join you, too bad it is so far for me…
I know you will have a great time, it is definitely your “habitat”
mami’s last blog post..All the new kids are going to the DC Blogger Happy Hour
Stupid as it seems..I believed it is my destiny to become a famous blogger
hahah, as if!
Antonella’s last blog post..MENTAL BLOCK
Remembering NKTOB (makes feel dirty just typing those initials) has pretty well justified growing up a penniless social outcast… I couldn’t afford to like those twits! Never did understand the attraction. Kind of justifies remaining a penniless social outcast now, as well, I’d have to say.
Sarah’s last blog post..…Like a Chicken
As per your response to my comment -
No FUN bloggers anyway ! Well, at least we have the wine.
sassy’s last blog post..In progress :
Just wanted to state for the record that i did not come up with the phrase “token vagina”
Roosh’s last blog post..Blogger Happy Hour
I guess I can’t make fun of the New Kids fanatics too much, because I still smile like I’m 8 years old whenever I hear an old New Edition song on the radio.
I probably shouldn’t have typed that, since I’m going to be at the Happy Hour. I’ll get ready to brace myself for the ensuing jokes!
ListenToLeon’s last blog post..Changes
I used to go to blogger happy hours in Baltimore all the time, so I’m excited for my first in DC!
Malnurtured Snay’s last blog post..I Am Totally Going To Throw Your Laptop Out The Front Doors
Looking forward to meeting you. Check your personal shame at the door.
Is this a Happy Hour of the “all-night” variety?
I will be attending the Maryland-Vermont basketball game that night due to my undying love of the one non-horrible sports team from Vermont. However, if the party is still going by 11 or 11:30….
Jon’s last blog post..I Try It So You Don’t Have To: Mac’s Salt and Vinegar Pork Skins
By 11 or 11:30? Dude, these things go until 4am if not later. Come by after.
A little bridal bird told me this was going down tonight, and since I’ll already be out and about, I figure why not? Need to show the young kids how we old duffers can still get down.
See you there.
Martin’s last blog post..AT&T: No, Seriously, All Your Data Are Belong To Us
so much for thinking my plans to sing karaoke while drinking on my former roommates tab at the capitol hill club were bad ass - i’m going to miss out this month hopefully next time i’ll make it!
free beer v. bad ass bloggers. tough call. Maybe i’ll make it up there late night
Heidi’s last blog post..Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!
We’ll be there late…come by after if you’re not all free-beered out.