I hate David Beckham.
Wait. Strike that. I don’t hate him.
I hate English soccer players.
Yes, that’s better. That’s what I mean.
Though the Argentina national team has played England only 11 times, our games have always carried paramount significance surpassed only by those against Brazil. Between the famous “Hand of God” game in […]
Exodus is a powerful word. It signifies rebirth, movement, and lots of sand.
To my people (the Chosen kind), Exodus means an escape from a pissed off Egyptian suffering from a severe inferiority complex. And matzo balls.
To Google, Exodus is the number-one ranked Web site of a ministry that wants you to believe “freedom […]
They say no one ever really retires from kickball.
But after more than two years encompassing five seasons, it’s time for me to hang up my cleats and flip cup.
I joined kickball in spring 2005 for the thrill of competition and camaraderie. (Also, I was told, it was full of horny nerd-girls who […]
I have some great memories from elementary school:
Field trips to the Griffith Observatory; playing tetherball with friends at recess; seeing my first porn magazine; and playing “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” with the girls.
But one of my most favorite memories was when we had Show ‘N’ Tell. I would search […]
“Oh no, no. Too high, it’s too high.” — Cleveland Indians fan Ross Farmer tracking the flight path of a homerun, in Major League.
While watching my L.A. Dodgers pound the natty Nats 5-0 last night at RFK, I overheard two middle-aged men sitting behind me talking out of their collective ass.
Not literally, of […]
If you turned to Page 2 of the Express newspaper yesterday and happened to glance below the fold to the print ads, you might have spotted this disturbing image nestled among the promotions for Botox and Type 2 Diabetes.
Who in his right mind would ever consider Lasik eye surgery after seeing this advertisement by some […]
In January, I wrote a blog post about my disdain for tourist children who skate past me in Heelys and my subsequent envy. Seems like some like-minded person felt strongly enough about these Fucking Timmy-like creatures to send in this postcard to PostSecret. I hope I’m the one who inspired him so I […]
Photocredit: Zo.
“Always keep a song in your heart; it’s like karaoke for the voices in your head.” — Robert Fulton Abernethy
My life is full of embarrassing singing moments. For example:
Driving with Blue and singing “Angel” by Sarah McLaughlan:
Arjewtino: “In the arms of the angel…”
Blue: “You sound really good.”
Arjewtino: “Really?”
Blue: […]
When I was unemployed several years ago for a stretch of 10 months, I had to minimize many of my expenses. I cut out buying new CDs, going out drinking with friends, and exotic trips to Tryst Café.
But one thing I couldn’t eliminate was eating. Since my body stubbornly continued to demand a […]
Photo credit: matt p
We see them every spring and summer, walking around aimlessly, wearing fanny packs and holding Metro maps, clogging up our escalators and showing that familiar fear in their eyes.
As residents of the 202, 301, and (I guess) the 703, we xenophobically dread this time of year when we’ll have to share space […]
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