Wednesday, December 5th, 2007...12:13 pm
Who’s the Geek now?
Speaking of season finales, The Princess and I last night cooked some dinner, got into our PJs, and watched our third favorite non-writers’-strike-affected TV show, Beauty and the Geek.
This is what living with a woman will do to you. As a bachelor with my own (dirty) apartment in Adams Morgan, I used to do my best Charles Bukowski impression every night, staying up all night, drinking myself into a coma, and watching all the free porn I could find online.
But moving in with the love of your life has a way of changing you.
When we first started watching Beauty and the Geek this season (accidentally, I still maintain), I would roll my eyes and ridicule the saturation of reality TV. Now, I care about these people, these reality stars named Dave, Jasmine, Sam, and Nicole, as if they were my friends and their beauty and/or geekiness were more important than the fate of the world itself.
Some may consider this sweet — a couple indulging in some trash TV and bonding on the couch. On the surface, it probably seems that way. But you have to understand just how deep this rabbit hole goes.
I not only watch Beauty and the Geek, last week I voted online for the Beauty and the Geek winner.
Have those words sunk in yet?
After the penultimate episode last Tuesday, the show told us to text our vote (99 cents? Yeah, right) for who should win this “social experiment” OR go to the to vote there.
I voted for Dave and Jasmine, who were crowned the winners last night during a cheesy episode that looked more like a Mad TV skit. I used absolutely no rational thought or logic behind my vote except for the fact that Dave’s skills as a LARPer made me feel exceptionally cooler by comparison.
The online vote form asked me for my home address, though, which I was not about to give them. So I e-mailed Baby Bien:
Arjewtino: “What’s your address?”
Baby Bien: “I’m scared. Should I be scared? I guess I’ll tell you anyway.”
–provides address–
Arjewtino: “You probably should have been. You just voted for the winner of Beauty and the Geek. Well, technically, I voted using your name and address. I didn’t want any junk mail sent to me. Sucker.”
Baby Bien: “Screw you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
This means I have become one of “them”. I am one of those people who cares about a reality show and knows what a is. This is more embarrassing than singing Lee Grenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.” in a New York City karaoke bar (I’m actually kind of proud of that one).
You think my devolution ends there? You are sadly mistaken.
I also have started watching Season 2 of Project Runway on DVD. The Princess asked me to Netflix the series with the promise that I would see Heidi Klum naked, which has so far failed to materialize (though I did enjoy watching her with her knockers).
We have watched eight episodes so far. I know who Santino is now. I have opinions on backless dresses. And I think Michael Kors has good taste.
This means I have learned more about fashion since I started watching this show than I have ever gathered in a lifetime of shopping for clothes at the Salvation Army.
might be proud of me for this enlightenment, considering the night I met her I told her I don’t know anything about “fashion and shit”. But to me, it just means I’m in dire need of a total guy makeover (see?).
I need to read more Bukowski, or get into a fistfight at a bar, or spend a whole day watching old Bruce Lee movies. Maybe I should pin up posters of Scarlett Johansson in my room, or drink nothing but 15-year old malt scotch for a month. Watch a boxing match (live), attend a monster truck rally, do a keg stand, buy a gun.
Nevermind. The next Project Runway DVD is coming any day now.
18 Comments
December 5th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I can’t believe you voted for Dave and Jasmine. I also can’t believe I care.
December 5th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Ew, Dave and Jasmine?! I could not get over her baby voice…though the LARPing was kick ass.
December 5th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
I loved Dave and Jasmine, but I still think Joshua should’ve won the whole thing. He was robbed.
December 5th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
I too have transformed my man by making him watch Project Runway with me. He said he was watching because Heidi Klum has nice boobs, but last week he commented on how wide stripes and skinny stripes look awful together. Busted!
December 5th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
If you want to get into a non-feminine reality show. Some friends and I may go to a bar to watch the season finale for The Ultimate Fighter Season 6. You should stop by, if you’re not busy watching America’s Next Top Model, or mentruating.
Seriously, Arjewtino, I’m worried about you. How can you watch a show about fashion designers? I can understand a show about models (hot chicks = no explanation necessary) or a bisexual chick looking for love (Hey Tila…how YOU doin). but do you really care about dresses and shoes? Really? I’m gonna call the latino commission and have them revoke your membership. Don’t be surprised if by next week you can’t dance salsa or pleasure a woman.
December 5th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
I “accidentally” on purpose watch all those shows all the time…and have also “accidentally” on purpose started making my boyf watch them with me.
After the initial shock that he is watching such titles as “Dancing With the Stars” and “Project Runway” he loves them.
I believe all men secretly do.
December 5th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Do you need my social security number too?
December 5th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
You want to get some manliness back, I have two words for you: Bum Fights.
December 5th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Uh, to be fair, Project Runway rules, Arjew. New episodes, Wednesdays at 10 — it’s the only show I insist on watching as it comes out, even though Bravo plays its repeats non-stop. It’s like the girl equivalent of sports — you *could* just read the score online tomorrow, but somehow that takes all the fun out of it.
The great thing about TV is that now we all have mutual friends to talk about. You never have to feel left out of a conversation with strangers again!
December 5th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
I’ve never seen the show. But I get the Project Runway addiction. And Santino…. Oh Santino was another thing altogether. He annoyed me half of the time, but I still loved to see him do his thing.
December 5th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
That’s the best scam ever, using a friend’s real address to avoid junk mail. Brilliant!
December 5th, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Do you also watch I Love New York 2?
December 6th, 2007 at 12:48 am
at least you get project runway when it airs and not two months later…. do you know how hard it is to avoid conversations with people who know what actually happens? thank goodness for torrent. But seriously, project runway is a super cool show. at least The Princess knows how to subtly teach you about fashion
December 6th, 2007 at 8:40 am
Oh I have a funny Season 2 PR story for you. I’ll tell it to you when you’ve finished the season so that I don’t ruin the ending for you. It involves singing to Chloe Dao and I’ll leave it at that.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
We don’t have cable, so we don’t actually get to watch the new ones…we’re on Season 2–didn’t watch Season 1 at all. But I can’t believe that Bravo doesn’t even have the new season on their website! Rip off!
December 6th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
I would totally make fun of you, except that husband and I had standing Tuesday night date for the last 8 weeks or so, just to watch B&tG. Maybe we should double date!
December 7th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Welcome to the suck.
December 7th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Cut off your penis now and get it over with. Someone can probably use it for medical research. Maybe they’ll even pay you for it so you can go out and buy these shows on DVD. Oh joy!
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