Dec
11
Filed Under (sports) by Arjewtino on 11-12-2007

mizzou.jpg

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If there is one thing in this world that I love it is eating bread in a restaurant.

A couple of weekends ago, I went to an Italian restaurant for dinner with some friends. The first thing I asked for, even before the menus, was a basket of bread. I had eye-scanned the joint upon sitting down and noticed other tables had bread. Free bread. On their tables. So I wanted a basket. Then I wanted another one. And another.

I asked the waiter for – and received – five bread baskets during dinner. The thing is, why do I love bread so much when I go out to eat? It’s not like I don’t have bread at home. I have plenty of bread. Bagels, pita bread, wheat bread, pumpernickel.

But when I go out, I turn into Teen Wolf hooked on bread.

“Bread? They have bread? Give me some bread! You have any more bread? Give me five motherfucking baskets of bread!”

The Princess, though, always gives me the “Don’t fill up on bread” speech. Why shouldn’t I have as much bread as I want? It’s free. And I’ll still eat my dinner. I’m paying for it, after all. Maybe they don’t eat restaurant bread in her home state of Missouri, I don’t know. But that is a fundamental difference between me and my Midwestern girlfriend.

You know what else is a fundamental difference? Sports. Specifically, college football. She couldn’t care less about it. When her alma mater Mizzou reached the number one ranking in the nation recently, I was more excited than she was. Hell, had a shit freak about it (and deservedly so).

“Do you understand how big this is?” I asked her.

Princess: “No.”

Arjewtino: “It’s huge. They haven’t been number one since 1960.”

Princess: “I don’t care.”

Arjewtino: “How can you not care? I would kill for UCLA to be number one and have a shot at the national championship. It upsets me that you don’t appreciate it.”

Princess: “Is Project Runway on?”

One of the first conversations The Princess and I had when we first met was about Mizzou. She told me she graduated from there and I instantly launched into my proud diatribe of UCLA guard Tyus Edney going coast-to-coast against her school in the 1995 March Madness tournament.

She looked at me like I had bragged about my ability to do simple arithmetic at the speed of light.

But some people, I suppose, just don’t care about sports. I don’t know who these people are and for the most part I don’t want to know. As long as they don’t stop me from watching/following/caring/obsessing about my sports teams, they can live their own warped and empty lives.

But the reason we as people love sports and root for our teams – teams to which we don’t even belong — is a very interesting one when you think about it.

From a psychological standpoint, it is in our nature to need an enemy, an opponent which a group or team can all rally against. We need a clear battle between a perceived good and evil. From an evolutionary standpoint, we cheer and wear our team’s colors because we needed to band together as if we were going to defeat woolly mammoths and saber tooth tigers.

Sports fans understand the joy of a triumph and the heartbreak of defeat like it’s a matter of life and death. We do so because for our ancestors, it really was about life and death. The closer we bond together against an enemy, the more likely we are to survive and pass on our genes.

So I suppose I understand why to The Princess it’s not important, but that bonding with her friends over a nesting activity – like her book club or pillow fighting league – is.

Yes, I suppose I do understand. Still, it was pretty awesome when after shaking my head at her for not getting the full extent of Mizzou’s number one ranking, she turned to me and asked me this:

Princess: “We beat KU, though, right?”

Arjewtino: “Uh, yeah.”

Princess: “Good. I hate KU.”

There’s hope for her yet.

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Comments

on 11 December, 2007 at 11:49 am #

What a coincidence! I went to Mizzou. I nearly died this season from anticipation. I remember my friends telling me I was crazy for being more nervous about the KU game than my bar results. They just don’t understand. It’s KU. And this is Mizzou.

I understand. Not specifically for that game, but for a game I would care about. I skipped a final in college to watch Argentina in World Cup ‘98.


H on 11 December, 2007 at 11:56 am #

you were so close to going where one of Freud’s friends went in an article about sports fans (that I seriously just read last night).

But come on — UCLA good in football? weren’t you still living in Argentina when that last happened?

Read rs27’s comment below.

Fucking Michigan fans.


jess on 11 December, 2007 at 12:43 pm #

tyus edney is actually what people say to remain humble in mizzouish parts. as in ‘that was a really great game, maybe we’ll make it to the tourney this year.’ ‘yeah. tyus edney.’

so if we all need an enemy, who is the bizarro arjewtino?

My friend Flavio from Brazil, another South American Jew.


on 11 December, 2007 at 1:18 pm #

I’m along the same vein as the Princess when it comes to college football, but dear lord I love me some restaurant bread.

Don’t take free bread for granted, though. In Italy, the bread is not free. I did not know this and my friends and I ordered several baskets throughout the evening. The numerous bread baskets turned out to be more expensive than our meals.

Why do they charge for bread in Italy? Did you ever find out?


Naomi on 11 December, 2007 at 2:07 pm #

Go COWBOYS! That’s all I wanted to say. :)

Jesus.


Hey Pretty on 11 December, 2007 at 2:34 pm #

conversation between me and my man on Saturday–

My man: Do you want to go watch the Duke game with my friend x?

Me: what sport is that?

mm: basketball.

m: no.

mm: you don’t like duke?

m: I don’t care about sports. Neither do you for that matter.

mm: oh yeah. but at least there will be beer.

m: no thanks.

I do LOVE me some free bread though.

You girls are cut from the same cloth.

Did your man say “oh yeah” like he forgot that he didn’t like sports? If so, that’s pretty funny.


on 11 December, 2007 at 2:37 pm #

UCLA did have a chance at playing for a football championship. It was 98. But living in LA ,I will say, UCLA basketball is the tops. I’m bringing that back, “the tops.”

I hate the fill up on bread speech. I’ll do what I G-D please. Free Bread for all!

I remember that, it was a few weeks before I moved here to DC. Remember fucking Toledo decided it would be a good idea to reschedule that game against Miami (if memory serves me right), which we lost and cost us a chance at the championship? Then we lost to Wisconsin in our bowl game, don’t remember.

This is the year, man, for UCLA basketball.


argentine sex worker on 11 December, 2007 at 2:57 pm #

remember when you didn’t go to UCLA?

Remember when you quit on the Red Sox?


on 11 December, 2007 at 3:53 pm #

The game was rescheduled because of a hurricane and I think they weren’t going to play it if UCLA had lost a game. UCLA had to fly cross country to end the year. What a crock.

UCLA b-ball is nice. I like me some Pauley Pavilion

That’s right. I still remember, though, Bob Toledo fucking it up schedule-wise.

I shot baskets at Pauley when I was 13. It was great. I made my very first shot from the free throw line and thought, “This is where Kareem once stood.”


on 11 December, 2007 at 4:45 pm #

Fucking Mizzou. If they had taken care of business we wouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit BCS title game. Who can get excited about a 2-loss team in the title game? I mean, 3 loss team. Come on, Buckeyes.

It could have been worse. It could have been Hawaii.


Baby Bien on 11 December, 2007 at 5:46 pm #

on 11 December, 2007 at 6:58 pm #

I’d be more accepting of Hawaii in than LSU. Partly because I’m a Tennessee fan, but mostly because Hawaii, though playing in a weaker conference, is UNDEFEATED!

I’m pulling like hell for Hawaii over Georgia. I hate the BCS with a passion, so anything to upset it is good with me.

There is no National Champion this year, no matter who wins the Ohio State/LSU game.

Saying Hawaii should be playing for the national championship because the team is undefeated is like saying my Little League team should have played the Dodgers because we made the playoffs.


on 11 December, 2007 at 7:21 pm #

Until my brother arrived in the picture, I was my dad’s only sports companion, so I have the joy of being “that girl” who loves going to soccer matches and yells like a truck driver. That energy translated well to the college football season when I got to college. Add to that that my school is famous for being obnoxiously fanatic (yes, more than others) and you can see why I fit in perfectly. Nobody -other than my fellow alumni- understands my passion. Thank goodness my uncle went to our enemy school, that way I have him to talk to about college ball. Even if it’s to bicker.


on 11 December, 2007 at 8:22 pm #

Even non-sports fans that I have met over the years care about their college teams.

I definitely have a comfort level talking about sports when meeting new people (I’m guessing that I’m not alone on this one), so if I ever make it a Happy Hour, there’s an excellent chance that the Pittsburgh Steelers will be a topic of conversation.


A on 11 December, 2007 at 8:31 pm #

I’m suspicious of people that don’t pledge allegiance to a team.

However, as ESPN likes to remind me, I’m one of the “greatest fans in college football” so I suppose I should forgive others for not living up to the very high standards set by me and my fellow fans.


Neil on 12 December, 2007 at 12:04 am #

I’m not into sports much myself, but man — you are so on the money with the bread thing. One day, I just want to go to a restaurant, order a coke, eat a lot of free bread, and then leave.


okdc on 12 December, 2007 at 12:52 pm #

Who did Mizzou lose to? Oh, I know, Oklahoma.

We got a Sooner in the house. Big-12 South Division, though.


the princess on 12 December, 2007 at 2:26 pm #

You know, my freshman year dorm was right across the street from the stadium…and I still only went to about 5 games. I have embraced the fact that I really and truly do not care even a little bit about sports. At all. Except maybe soccer. I do like soccer sometimes.

And you don’t hate going to hockey games, remember that.


Twoste on 12 December, 2007 at 5:32 pm #

tell that to Lionel Messi


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