A Jewish friend living in Brazil replied to my “survey” with this comment, a different, non-statistical take on why Jews end up with shiksas:

“Every time I go to Latin America, I’m always amazed at how many jews find me, and immediately form a bond. In this most recent trip, I was adopted by an elderly jewish professor, who decided that I needed to spend time with her family at passover, their beach house, and the jewish over 30 soccer match. With her, I attended a presentation of a rabbi from Rio, who explained that Brazilian jews had to come up with a new way of understanding jewish identity because so many jews married catholics. Here, they call it a “caju”, which is cashew in portuguese, but also is catholic-jew. His point was that there is a new population of jew, no less jewish, but with an additional identity, formed alongside and in equal part to a catholic identity. If you’ve ever seen a cashew nut while still attached to the fruit, it looks just like that - the nut sits alongside and in equal part on the outside of the fruit.”

Haha, I like this post. You may like the shiksas, but we shiksas like the Jews even more.
Seriously.
I’m dating my first Jewish guy right now and damn…just damn.
I’m never dating a Gentile again.

Maybe I should write an entry about the reverse ideal: why Gentile women love the Jews.

Oh, and on behalf of all Jews, you’re welcome.

I’ve tried to date Jewish… I just can’t do it, no matter how much my mother wants me to.

In the end I always go back to those hot shiksa girls who genuinely think matzo tastes good, and that there really is a Chanukah bush.

Forbidden fruit and all that…

“Chanukah bush”. I love double-entendres.

I’ll probably get skewered for this, but if you want to know why jewish guys don’t like to date jewish girls, take a read at what the guy who writes The IJC (Interchangable Jappy Chick) writes.

Where’s the link?

Cajú… haha. I like that. I’d never heard of it.

I know, new info for me, too.

Verrrrry interesting. I wonder how this works from the opposite perspective–for example, am I the only Jewish woman who had VERY bad experiences dating Jewish men and now gravitates towards Gentiles? I can’t imagine so. Maybe our generation is simply more centered on overall happiness and connection than on denominational compatibility?

Or, like the numbers indicate, you’re just meeting more of the goyim in your dating circle.

As a Jewish male, do you find that Jewish women resent your dating outside of the tribe?

Are shiksa and goy the same thing? Or is each term assigned to different sexes?

I’ve never heard or encountered any resentment from Jewish women. I think they understand the difficulty in finding a Jewish partner and empathize.

Shiksas are strictly female; goy is a Gentile man; goyim is the plural, including both sexes.

I think it’s safe to say the numbers are definitely the main factor in this one. I grew up in the south and had never even met a Jewish person until I came up here for college. And I didn’t even know until a year or two after I met him.

Did he “come out” of the proverbial Jewish closet to you?

It totally is a numbers game. There is no way around that one. But it also is an issue of strength of faith. Jewish men that date outside of their religion tend to be more secular. In addition, the girls that they are dating are not typically devout in whatever Christian-based religion they were raised in. It is more about finding the right match with the person, not a divine being.

But the truth really is that it allows for us to spread the love of gefilte fish outside of the tribe.

I LOVE gefilte fish.

Good argument, BB. The more secular or reformed your faith is, the less likely you are to want to meet a Jewish girl strictly for religion’s sake.

Eric, was it the horns and bags of money under his bed that gave it away???

Start here and go forward through the archives.

http://ijc.typepad.com/ijc/2004/09/index.html

As someone who grew up in Brooklyn (and went to a heavily Jappy school), I can confirm that his observations are freakishly accurate.

Start here and go forward chronologically:

http://ijc.typepad.com/ijc/2004/09/index.html

I can’t read that blog with having Long Island flashbacks (I attended two very jappy colleges).

Ex Fiance and 2 of the three before her were MOT’s…huh…go figure. If you want to meet a nice Jewish girl you have to hang out with a white recovering Catholic.

So THAT’S where they all are!

Being Jewish and dating outside the tribe may be about increasing the odds, but being “bi” is just about greed.

I mean, c’mon, they don’t even discriminate based on religion!

True, I think bisexuals want to have their cake and eat it, too. Greedy mofos.

please be a responsible journalist and cover both sides of the story - why gals like me can’t get enough of the chosen boys. even though they are all shorter than me. (i’m only partially MOT.)

in college i was ga-ga for a lovely little jew who ditched me for some full-breed who was going to spend 2 years in the IDF after graduation. i called her Bathsheba. since then i vowed to never lose a boy from being insufficiently jewish. i can now make killer deserts for passover.

But, mathematically, you’re still on the outside looking in. I understand, we’re so desirable.

Thanks for that.

I do love a good Jewish nose. H-O-T. If it’s a stereotype, I’m sorry. But it’s such a GOOD stereotype.

I’ve met many of your kind. Some women do love the nose.

Arjewtino is short - 5′9″ with heels. But most of us are of average height and have larger than average rods with which to part the Red Sea and accomplish other tasks.

When I wear stilettos, though, I break the highly coveted 70-inch mark.

I think you should write a post about why gentile women love Jews. Or have the Princess write one.

I love Jews. I grew up being insanely jealous of my family that grew up Jewish. I was jealous of my Jewish friends. I wanted to be Jewish so bad. To this day if I could chose one “organised” religon to be a part of, it would be Judiasm.

There’s something… intriguing about Jews. I’m not sure what it is… (cough-haveanysinglejewishfriends-cough)

You know, that’s not a bad idea. Are you reading, Princess?

But there are so many Catholic boys that love the Jewish girls — don’t forget to address that.

I think your math is a bit off. Granted, I didn’t check up on your sources (as I would with dumb students), but 0.227% is just that — less than 1%, not 2.27%.

Holy shit, I can’t believe I fucked up one of the easiest math problems in the world! Don’t tell anyone.

Mmm, there’s something about Jewish boys. I’m technically Roman Catholic but I think i can safely say, you guys got that little something extra

It’s our scarcity, that’s all.

Hey, who knew your people were SO HOT! Tasty Jewish Delicacy! sort of safe for work, since he is wearing a bathing suit in all pictures

http://www.queerty.com/queer/morning-goods/morning-goods-muli-20070508.php?rss

Why waste words trying to describe Israeli model, Muli. All you could ever want to know is on full display: he’s been chosen to make the world more beautiful. Hopefully he’ll help make your day a little more attractive.

And now something for the gay Jews (Gews?)…

It’s interesting though, most of my Jewish girlfriends are pretty insistent in dating inside the tribe. And I try not to date Jews solely b/c I don’t want to fall for one and him tell me he can’t get serious b/c I’m not Jewish. I had that argument with a friend years ago and he was so adamant, I figured I shouldn’t even go there.

Maybe I’m wrong. Although the last guy I dated was Jewish, and he was a total putz. Oy.

Dating putzes is part of the cost of doing business. I have a female friend — conservative Jewish — who broke up with the man she loved recently because he refused to convert to Judaism. As a secular Jew who dates non-MOTs, I found this perplexing.

Considering I pulled the Catholic/LA Jew/Israel thing out of my Jewish a-hole, that was pretty close.

So much for being anonymous.

I agree, that was impressive.

I have a nice kinda conservative (cause he’s a ny jew) friend who refuses to date Jewish girls in college because he says he’s not getting married yet, but that as soon as he’s older he’ll stop dating shiksas. I’ll believe it when I see it!

What about us sorta-halfsies? My mom’s a convert, nice n Irish and I look it too, but I was raised Jewish. I confuse the shit outta people.

Were you born after your mom converted? If so, you’re Jewish, straight up.

That phenomenon is very common, but I always thought it was fraught with peril since you might end up falling hard for a girl you don’t want to marry. And then you’re miserable.

Easier to decode the reasoning for a Jewish girl who doesn’t date Jewish guys, by the way. Attractive Jewish girls want guys who are over 5 foot 4, can kill a bug, and don’t wax their backs.

Sorry, had to be obnoxious back.

No need to apologize, this is the interweb, where everything goes.

That’s a perfect storm of undesirable Jewish male traits, good luck with that.

You should stop trolling Jdate. The good ones are taken. The short ones are leftovers.

I’m asking anyone with a JDate account to go in there and report back on the “talent”.

My dad told me I have to marry a Jew or he’s not coming to my wedding. He said this on our flight here from Moscow, when I was 8. He means it. All of my relatives of my generation have married or are marrying shiksas (or the male version) and he is gets all huffy about it. I understand him completely: most of his family survived the Holocaust and he grew up fearing pogroms. He’s been beat up for being a Jew, denied jobs, and seen multiethnic marriages end up in obvious anti-semitism.
I believe in preserving my heritage, but I’m also not super into inbreeding. (Ashkenazi Jews have A TON of genetic abnormalities). My last boyfriend also happened to be Jewish, but that was random. I also tried Jdate, and I can say that if you’re cute, you get harassed, and most men on there aren’t winners either. I guess I’m also playing a numbers game. My best bet is to get someone to let me raise my kids Jewish and maybe convert. Any takers?

I totally understand your dad’s POV, but if your kids will be Jewish no matter who you marry — for the goyim, Jewish women automatically beget Jewish kids — why does he care SO much? If you marry a goy who says he’d like to raise your MOT kids, and they will be by blood anyway, it should be ok, right?

I am Jewish, and, while I’ve dated Jews in the past, I generally gravitate to the goyim.

I’ve never really thought about why much before now, but I’ve joked about how almost all the Jewish men that I know have weird relationships with their moms. But really, it’s probably some kind of self-loathing. Or maybe it’s just the Christmas presents.

Why is that Jewish men are singled out for their “weird” relationships with their moms? If a goy is close to his mom, no one cares. If a Jew is, people say it’s because he’s a Jew.

That said, I’m really close with my mom.

BoozHoos21 - thank you for the link to those yumy pics!

Arjewtino has been bringing the gays together since 2006.

I am with Dara…I do not date Jewish men (even though most of my best guy friends are Jewish and I love the MOT). Maybe because my father is Israeli, I find that the discreptency btwn American Jews and Israeli Jews is huge and I am just not used to many Jewish men in a dating situation.

Plus, I look like a shiksa, I am 5′6 and I love tall guys–its only natural I would end up with a nonJew.

But I still love our boys. Jewish boys are precious. There are about 5 total in the DC area but still, precious.

No, I disagree, Kassy, there are SO many Jews in the area. They’re just all dating shiksas.

Oh let me also say…that I do not mean to stereotype–my blond haired, blue eyed brother is 6′3. They do exist for all you shiksas wondering.

Ah, the Scandinavian Jewish gene. My friend Foxymoron is one of them.

KassyK - You have a 6′3” Jewish older brother? Are you HIDING him???? (Dear Moses, please tell me he’s not like 16…)

This is my life. Trying to find a Jewish man. Over 5′7”. I have dated Christian guys almost exclusively because most of the Jewish men I’ve met are assholes. And not the prettiest. And moderately socially awkward (see previous Arjewtino post). This isn’t a recent revelation, though. It goes back years.

Do we Jewish women resent Christian women who date Jewish men? I do. A little. I guess I’m just resentful of all happy couples in the end. =)

I figure, the only way I’m going to meet a nice Jewish boy is by being setup all Fiddler on the Roof style.

*heavy f-ing sigh*

Don’t hold it on, AJ, let the emotions out.

I’m Catholic and the longest relationship I’ve had was 7 years with a Muslim guy. I dated a couple of Catholics but they lasted about 3 months a piece. I personally don’t care about the religion aspect (though I work in a Catholic school) … for me it’s all about values and morals and shit like that.

“…values and morals and shit like that.” My new favorite expression.

by the by, I didn’t mean to make it sound like the Jewish guy I dated was a putz *b/c* he was Jewish. You said it’s a numbers game, but somehow I still end up in the minus column…okay, that was a lame metaphor. My apologies.

Remind me never to ask you for help on stats problems.

Where were MM, Gen and Margarita when I was just a nice, Jewish, single guy?

So you’re no longer nice or Jewish?

Best boyfriend ever: Noah.

Best day-after conversation: With Aaron, who turned to me in the car and said, ‘You know what they say?’ And I replied, ‘Shiksas for breakfast.’

The dark, curly-hair, blue eyes thing gets me. If he’s lanky, too, I’m done. Just done.

We dark, curly-haired, blue-eyed Jews know how to work it.

Sean, I’ve always been here. Question is, where were you?

Jesus ArJew, just go home and ask the Princess to post the blog. “Are you reading.” Really now. SO lazy.

I would never date a Christian. Just because I was raised that way and I know all the leagalism, hypocricy, etc that goes along with it. Ugh. Just thinking about it agitates me. It’s too early to get agitated.

To KassyK’s point. There is a big difference between american jewish girls (more specifically the succubi that is the ijc) and israeli girls. Israeli girls are unbelievably hot! I’ve never dated an american jewish girl. The finest dime piece I’ve ever dated was an Isreali girl but she was also a model and I’ve never met an American Jewish girl that had that much talent. I guess its the mix of Sepharadim & Ashkenazi in Israel which creates such beauties, where as most american jews are Ashkenazi.

Also, most Israeli women have been in the Israeli army, which is drop-dead sexy.

Stereotypes and broad generalizations make the internets function better.

JDate, MOT, etc - are we talking religious or ethnic Jewness, or does it matter? If it does, then that 2% is a little high, I think.

Good topic, Arj. Gene would approve.

btw: homosexual gentiles: the gayim?

If Gene ever approved of anything I wrote, it would make my year. I revere him.

Gayim, very nice. I wonder if the gays actually do have a term for it. Foxymoron? Shiftless Badger? Nickels? Captain McDreamy? Care to chime in?

WiB is right - otherwise you have to include folks like Rod Carew and the late Sammy Davis, Jr.

So what have we learned here? WiB is always right.

I want to thank all male MOT for not dating Jewish girls, cuz that means I get to date them. Also, since they wouldn’t dream of marrying me, only hooking up, it’s perfect for my commitment-phobia! Mazel Tov to me!

There is definitely a residual and positive side effect for you people. And by “you people”, I mean black, Latino Asians.

in college i had a crush on a boy who was jewish… i met him thru my friend who was also jewish. i almost started going to the hillel group meetings just to hang out with him… my friend said most the girls there went only to hang out with him and that hadn’t worked for them yet. maybe i should have gone because he might have liked shiksas.

I can iron-clad guarantee he liked shiksas, whether for sport or for marriage.

Congratulations on being the record-breaker, MJ!

I’m still Jewish and still nice (most of the time, although Arjewtino thinks I’m evil when I write about the Pittsburgh Penguins); just not single anymore.

It’s a sad cry for help to like the Penguins. You want to love the Pirates? Sure, go ahead, that’s cute.

The chance of having many wonderful life experiences involving plastic eggs with small bits of sweets inside goes way up with the goyim…

I briefly dated a MOT once. He is a doctor and my roommate kept telling me I’d get bad karma from all the nice jewish girls who’d hate me for taking one jewish man out of the running and a doctor at that.
It didn’t work out for several reasons, but mostly because we knew his family would never accept me. Even if I converted, I think. So that was it. And I’m out of bad karma.

Oh, one last thing. The being close to mom is not a jewish thing. My man is close to his mom and they’re Christians.

It’s still weird though, the closeness. Sometimes I worry. Sigh.

Exactly, but when a Jewish man is close to his mom — the stereotype goes — it’s BECAUSE he’s Jewish, which is unfair but in a sweet way. It’s like when a goy is cheap: no one points it out, but when a Jew is, it’s BECAUSE he’s a Jew. So unfair.

Arjewtino–True. Actually its the magic combo of Hungarian/Polish/Russian/Czech & Israeli that can produce that kind of Scandanavian look.

AverageJane–Ah, and he’s a student filmmaker. Yep–student. But he is 20.

DF–My dad always says that the most beautiful women in the world are Israeli (and he’s been everywhere). 3/4 of his side of the family lives there and two of my uncles are from Yemen. My cousins are gorgeous bc of that exact Sephardic/Ashkanazi mix….the Middle Eastern/Eastern Europe combo. Fantastic.

Actually, culturally-insensitive speaking, when a goy is cheap, then rather than pointing it out in and of itself, it’s usually compared to Jewish (”he’s so cheap he could be Jewish” kind of thing). So double-whammy, in a way.

Seems to me that stereotypically, Catholic guilt usually comes from the Church, while Jewish guilt is usually from mom. I’d say the stereotypical image of the Jewish mother is the overly involved/passive-aggressive mom, which you don’t necessarily get from goymoms:

“how many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. ‘I’m fine, don’t worry about me; I’ll just sit here in the dark…’ ” That sort of image. Maybe that’s part of what makes the closeness “weird”?

Arjewtino, you are so right. It’s the stereotype thing. I especially hate the one about the money. Everytime I hear someone tell me that, I like to show them several of my Jewish friends, starting with my BFF Violet, who are by far more giving than a lot of non-Jewish people.

When I was a lot younger it didn’t matter to me, but after being dumped all too many times by shiksas I figured I might as well get dumped by one of the Tribe. I also thought about our people’s future which, at 0.227% and shrinking, looks pretty grim.

When I was about 37 I decided to join a synagogue and told a married Jewish work colleague (and former college classmate) about it. He obliquely accused me of an ulterior motive, and that somehow my reasons were less than honorable. I replied that my motive was not ulterior–it was right up front: “You dumb f*, where do you think Jewish children come from?” We never talked after that.

I met my wife at a Jewish Federation “Super Sunday”. We’ll be married ten years next month. I wish I could say “l’dor, v’dor”, but we have only one autistic son, the most beautiful little boy in the world.

Don’t wait as long as I did.

RE: The Jewish numbers game

I am a gentile woman who dated a New York Jew and absolutely loved him and his Jewish mother (I know! Call me crazy! She was a sweetheart!) and his whole family. He wasn’t ready to take the plunge, so we broke up, but I still love Jews!

Does dating a non-religious MOT count? What if he’s an atheist (thanks, USSR)? What if I know more about Judaism than he does?

According to my boyfriend (atheist MOT) of two years, I have a “Jew fetish.” I dunno if it’s the hair, or maybe the nose, or maybe a subconscious desire to spite my parents, but there’s something about you guys.

Did I mention that I’m a non-practicing/lapsed/former Muslim/agnostic? =)

Good grief, aren’t any of you old enough to have read Philip Roth’s “Portnoy’s Complaint”??!

I love that book. I have to love it, too, being Jewish and all. What’s your point?

[…] I hope you at least enjoyed the blog post. […]

Hey..just wanted to comment. You said that one thing you like about shiksas is that they’re exotic..that’s why I like Jewish girls!! The eyes, the hair, the attitude..what’s not to like?

Couple of thoughts. We’re not sociologists so we discuss nothing but our own experiences, and here’s another one:

I think no one really mentioned that it could be a culture thing. Think about it: who’s collecting pictures, developing them, putting them into family albums, giving them captions in your family? Your mom or dad? Who’s creating the atmosphere of all holidays, lets say through dishes that are on your table? Your mom or dad? Who - between your two parents - is writing/is more likely to write a diary? Your mom or dad?
All I’m trying to say is, culturally mothers/women care more about passing certain things, values, skills, family stories on. Their daughters are like female cats - sculptured somewhat same way, they stay close. Their sons are similar to male cats, often go away, sometimes for long, and come back to get some food… They’re loosely attached to the family, they don’t care about staying in touch with all the cousins as much as the daughters are.

I’m technically a catholic, my boyfriend’s Jewish and we’re both excited to take the next step in our relationship pretty soon. His sister has a hard time finding a boy: he needs to be smart, he needs to be…, he definitely needs to be Jewish (she’s all about finding a Jew, also through jdate). Their parents want them to be happy, although his mom (to prove my point of view) would prefer him to marry a Jew. I’m European, too, so I’m not that familiar with the American realities, but there’s another thing I learnt from my boyfriend: Jewish girls are “incredibly spoiled by their parents, ignorant when it comes to discuss anything what’s going on outside the country” and he just cant stand that. And yes, we’re not religious what makes things easier, since religion is not a factor.

I hope I brought some new arguments to the discussion: the role of women in carrying and passing on all sorts of traditions (that’s why they care more about finding a MOT), and men who are typically not so much into that (based on my own observations and my boyfriend’s personal opinion on majority of Jewish girls in America). Again, I’m far from generalizing. Just adding another point of view

I’M A NON-RELIGIOUS MOT WHO WAS GOING WITH A LOVELY ITALIAN CATHOLIC SHIKSA. (BY THE WAY, THE MALE EQUIVALENT IS SHAGITZ). WHEN SHE ASKED ME IF I WOULD CONVERT, I SAID “WHY NOT? I DON’T CARE WHICH CHURCH I DON’T GO TO.” THIS SEEMED TO SATISFY EVERYONE BUT WE SEPARATED AND I MARRIED A JEWISH GIRL.
I WAS MUCH DUMBER THEN.

I’m a non-Jewish girl who is overwhelmingly attracted to Jewish men. I don’t purposely go looking for Jewish men, its just that the men I find attractive happen to be Jewish. My LDS parents want me to marry a Mormon man of course. Its so agonizing, I really want to be a bad girl and have a fun fling with a Jewish guy I like while I’m still young. I’ll probably really fall for him though.

The male version of “shiksa” is “shegetz.” I dated Jewish women exclusively for years and yes, that limited myself a great deal. I hated when Jewish gals dated the shegetzes with the response that the religion of the man didn’t matter because their kids would still be Jewish regardless. Kind of made Jewish men irrelevant. Growing tired of the scarcity of Jewish women, I went after the shicksas. Geez I love Asian women!

I realize KassyK posted seven months ago but I am a 6′2″ Jew with sandy blonde hair and a former college athlete. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen jaws drop when I tell Jewish women I am a MOT. I have had women at Jewish events ask me why I was there and to prove I was Jewish. My typical response is that I can prove it. No takers as of yet.

I think the most surprised reaction was the guy who told a sick joke about Jews in the Holocaust at lunch one day while in college. He was sitting across from me that day. I asked him after he was finished if he had ever seen a 250 lb Jew before. He said he had not and I informed him in a stern voice that he was looking at one. He stammered while apologizing profusely. I spared him an ass kicking. I think he might have learned a life lesson that day.