One night last century when I was a beat reporter for the Journal Newspapers, I had a dream of my entire workday. In this dream, I followed leads, interviewed sources, wrote my story, and turned it to my editor to be hacked to a manageable 15 column inches.
This dream was very realistic. I could actually see in my mind’s eye myself typing out the story on the screen. It seemed so real, in fact, that when I awoke and realized I still had to go into the newsroom and crank out a legitimate story, I actually said out loud to myself, “Now I have to do this all over again?”
That is how I imagine it might be to write a novel in a month. Every day. For thirty days. Like your own personal Groundhog Day that never ends, but with less Bill Murray.
But many idiots prospective novelists will try to do just that starting tomorrow, when they challenge themselves to write 50,000 words during National Novel Writing Month, known as NaNoWriMo and winner of the Most Awkward Acronym award.
That’s 1,667 words per day. Approximately 175 pages. Like Amway, many will try but few will succeed.
Like most delusional people, I have often thought I could write a novel. I put this American-Dream-of-an-aspiration at the top of my list of “Things I Want to do in my Life (But Probably Never Will)”.
I never lack for ideas and often bore The Princess most nights with the latest plot I devised on the bus ride home.
“How about,” I tell her, “a novel about a compelling character who must overcome some sort of obstacle and at the end he would become richer from the experience?”
“Shut up, I’m watching America’s Next Top Model,” she says encouragingly. “Go fix me some bedtime tea.”
My ideas are usually better suited as short stories since they’re not “well-rounded” or “interesting”. This is why I actually admire anyone who can write a whole novel, let alone a good one (not, for example, the highly overrated The Kite Runner).
But I realized recently that, though I didn’t accomplish it in 30 days (seriously, NoNaWriMo, November? With the Thanksgiving break? Why not just pick February with its 28 days?), I have written a novel!
Sort of.
Not counting this entry, I have written on Arjewtino.com 45,866 words over 114 blog posts since March, roughly 402 words per post. I need about 10 more blog posts to pass 50,000 words and I’m not even counting my in the equation.
I know, I know, 124 blog posts does not a novel make. Having a string of disjointed thoughts about and dating shiksas does not mean I met the rigorous NaNoWriMo standards of what constitutes a “novel”.
Whatever. I accomplished something, like with fewer leg cramps. I may not turn in my blog to any publishers, and you may never see Arjewtino in the Barnes & Noble bargain bin for $1.99, but 45,866 words is something I’m proud of.
Make that 46,381 words.
19 Comments
Nicely done, Arjewtino. And thanks, I love a good shout-out!
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who run marathons and those who watch other people run marathons. Congrats!
And all week I though that you were avoiding writing a new post to keep people from seeing the Yankee crap.
I thought about it.
I think $1.99 might be a little optimistic anyway…
I was going to say 99 cents but I have high self-esteem.
every year i consider doing NaNoWriMo but i always forget. plus, who really has the time?
i like the princess’ words of encouragement. i hope you made her that tea. i need some tips on how to get my boyfriend to do things for me. waaait. he makes me coffee every morning i’m there. that’ll suffice, i suppose.
There’s really only one way to get a boyfriend to do whatever you want. It’s not that difficult when you think about it.
here’s the link to my friend’s blog of his novel, which was hot stuff at the 2006 NaNoWriMo:
I met this guy at the last blogger HH and told him I was impressed that he wrote a novel. Thanks for the link, Jess.
I tried NanNoWriMo last year. I think I wrote about 5 pages before realizing my novel had no story line or character development. That, and I was convinced that drinking bourbon would help, since it seemed to work for all those old craggy great male 20th century authors. Nope. All it did for me was get me too drunk to remember I had a novel to write.
I tried the same thing, thinking I could become Hemingway. All it inspired in me was a bad hangover.
I wrote an entire novel from the perspective of a piece of plankton floating from Australia to California. Sort of a vegetation-meets-Thor Heyerdahl thing.
On another note, I’m not savvy to the intricacies of American sport. What does the obviously gay man in pinstripes on your banner have to do with baseball?
That should be published and available for purchase on Amazon.
Nothing. Derek Jeter just loves Gary Sheffield.
OK…I opened this link on the live blog feed because the topic sounded interesting.
Then when your page opens up on my computer and I see that ridiculous (but very well done) banner, I just cracked up! I couldn’t really pay attention to the post!
It’s kinda like trying to carry out serious business on Halloween day with someone dressed in a ridiculous costume,
That’s pretty much how I feel, too. I tried negotiating with INPY last night but he wouldn’t let me off the hook.
Two more days, two more days, two more days…
I love hemingway. I wish I could write a novel in a month. That would be rad.
You should do it! Seriously.
I would purchase, at full price, a novel about dating shiksas…and would likely stay up all night devouring each and every word.
I’m sure I can find a Brazil-themed template for you.
THATS why i feel smarter reading your blog….
xoxo
It can be novel without being a novel. It’s all about manageable goals.
This might not technically be a novel, but it’s much more highly entertaining and certainly more well written than some of the crap -er, I mean, stuff people send to publishing houses or even worse, gets printed.
P.S. Now you put the link on dating shiksas? The other day - I forget why- we needed to find the spelling of said word and I thought: “Brilliant! I know exactly were to find that!” But there was no way I could find it in your archives. Argh!
Definitely not good enough for the $1.99 bin. But I’m sure you wouldn’t spend that much on a book anyway.
Congrats anyway, bro! Hope you’re doing well. And I can start coming to more HH’s soon — I’m putting in my two weeks tomorrow!
Congrats, A-J-T! Frankly, that’s an impressive accomplishment! And you never know; stranger books have been published, my friend!
it would have been a lot cooler if you had hand-counted all those words.
I think you should try to make the 50,000th word something good. I’ll try to think of a good one.
Nice