Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007...10:32 am

Looks like I’m not the only one who hates Heelys

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In January, I wrote about my disdain for tourist children who skate past me in Heelys and my subsequent envy. Seems like some like-minded person felt strongly enough about these Fucking Timmy-like creatures to send in this postcard to . I hope I’m the one who inspired him so I can add the accomplishment to my resume.

heelyssecret.jpg

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21 Comments

  • I am going to “accidentally” trip one of these kids at some point, probably either in the airport or in the mall. And I’m going to laugh.

    …and laugh and laugh and laugh…

  • Oh, don’t even get me STARTED on Heelys. I actually wanted to write a follow up e-mail to postsecret, but I can’t find the e-mail address he sometimes posts. Do you know it?

  • I want a pair so I can go around Target really, really fast knocking over annoying kids, slow old ladies and soccer moms.

  • Fucking Timmy. Aaargh.

  • Jo- You have come up with the only good reason to ever wear Heelys: wreaking havoc on unsuspecting Target shoppers.

  • A fist full of pebbles or pennies goes a LOOOONG way.

    Or nickels. And anvils.

  • I too find them annoying. And whenever I see someone in them, I hear my mom’s reaction in my head: “¡Esos mocosos se van a matar con esos !”$·%$&/& zapatos!”

    Hehe.

    That sounds just like something my mom would say.

  • If they weren’t so ugly, I’d buy myself a pair.

    Definitely think a redesign is in order.

  • I never knew that they were called Heelys! I privately thought of them as “the shoes that Satan wears when he wants to annoy his minions.” But “Heelys” works, too.

    That was their first choice for a name, but they found it didn’t fit on the shoes.

  • My kid will have a ‘rascal’.

    What’s a rascal? Don’t make me Proogle it.

  • I thought at one point we were talking about you getting man heelys, or Mheelys.

    Those little scamps are skating circles around us.

    I’m still thinking about it.

  • I have small enough feet that I have bought shoes in the kid’s section before, and I must admit, I’ve been considering getting some of these shoes. They look like fun.

    Talk to LMNtal and ask him how he’s enjoying his. I keep forgetting to.

  • Every time I see one of those little bastards zipping through the malll with those things, I am tempted to punch their emasculated fathers right in the fucking face.

    But doesn’t it make you wish you could sport a pair? We totally missed out on them.

  • Oh when those first came out in the late 90s I so wanted a pair. But the styles were/ still are all so damn ugly I’d never.

    I love Postsecret.

    Also, I have seen children whipe out on those shoes. And slam into things such as poles, garbage cans, and other people wearing them. It’s always a great laugh. ^_^

    I finally saw a little girl wipe out on them at National Airport and I laughed my ass off.

    I wonder how LMNtal has been doing on his new Heelys.

  • Oh - and this post is entirely the reason I had such a weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was skating through the halls of a theatre or university or somewhere similarly inappropriate with a group of unruly kids (precisely the kind I loathe on sight) who were teaching me how to skate with these shoes.

    That’s got to mean SOMETHING based on dream interpretation rules.

  • Yes! I’d so high five you if I could! Suhweeeet!

    Haha you keep mentioning that; does he really have Heelys or are you just making fun of him? ;]

    He’s told me he bought Heelys after reading my old post and he’s even taken them out for a test run or two. I haven’t seen any proof of this yet, but he sounded sincere.

  • Lisa! Check dreammoods.com. I don’t know if they have spefically “Heelys” but maybe you can come to some sort of conclusion. I check that site every morning to figure out my insanely bizarre and particularly epic dreams.

    ArJew- Oh. My. GAWD. (pretend i’m from brooklyn for a second and picture the accent.)
    I’ll get you pictures if they exist. I swear I shall. It’s my goal.

  • When I see kids wearing those I have a hard time suppressing the urge to clothesline them. I mean, it would be so easy, they’re providing all the momentum, all I have to do is stick my arm out. I also often contemplate opening the car door when I see a biker coming up behind me. I don’t hate bikers, I just think that would be funny.

  • You know, the Rascal!

    A motorized cart - not a wheelchair, mind you, people who ride them can still walk - with handlebars and a basket to carry stuff in. Usually reserved for the elderly, but I think it’s just a nice way to get around.

  • Why do kids have these? they can’t wear them to school so it seems like a waste of money.

  • […] you have kids? Do they wear Heelys? Do they lack such discipline that they punch people in the balls on the Metro? Did you name any of […]

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