Great to see you–sorry I couldn’t stay to have a drunk conversation with you! Thanks again for organizing. P.S. That fanny pack is out of control.

Your hall pass gave you free reign.

Whatever. It isn’t my fault the locker wasn’t big enough to hold your Argie ego.

No locker will ever be large enough for that.

A) I was late because I was tired as shit and worked 80+ hours last week.
B) I bought you tequila because you’re a dirty South American.
C) It was rail tequila because you’re Jewish.
D) You couldn’t even finish it.

I love ya, Grampa, but sometimes you are weak. Might have to school you again come next HH.

After doing so many shots I thought I saw my dead great-grandpa hitting on Kassy K, I think doing half a shot of tequila can be excused.

oh i dunno man, i was pretty offended.

juuust kidding. goodtimes yo. love the fannypack.

Damn, one of these blogger HHs I’ll be able to talk to you without being so abrasive. Though I doubt it.

I can’t believe I missed this one. Actually, I can. It was at Madhatter and I stopped popping my collar last month.

Actually, I had to make 2 out of district birthday party appearances, but HOT DAMN you kids looked like you rocked out. Being the overachiever that I am, I probably would have thrown down just to stay at the head of the class.

I hope I don’t get detention for being truant. Unless there’s beer in detention.

Your unexcused absence, unlike Freckled K’s, means you failed. Sorry.

Showed up late? You of all people should know how hard it is to tie those things. Stop hating. As if it was my fault Jewish people don’t have style and are too friendly to have real game… I mean come on

I loved how the only reason you could pull off the skinny tie look was that you’re black and I’m not. Hardly seems fair.

I love you.

Wait what?

I’m copy-and-pasting from your blog your sent text messages to VK:

12:20 a.m.: I love arjewtino
12:25 a.m.: Wait what
12:43 a.m.: Wait what
12:52 a.m.: What.
1:13 a.m.: Everybody loves him.
1:33 a.m.: I love arjewtino

I *LOVE* the fannypack photo, and glad it didn’t appear while I was traipsing around Europe and not really checking email (or something like that). Can you resurrect the fanny pack during the DC invasion of historians that will take place just after New Year’s?

That was a one-time thing. I promised Gen if she bought it for me I’d wear it in public — once.

Could we please reschedule a make-up exam? Even though my absence was excused, I’d imagined all kinds of things that could be done with my Hello Kitty ruler. All kinds of things! It saddens me to think that Miss Kitty will not find her purpose until next semester.

There might be one or two more before Thanksgiving break, so you’ll have plenty of time to cram for your makeup exam.

I also love the fanny pack. You walked on eggshells magnificantly! Don’t grade yourself so harshly.

At least I didn’t flunk THAT class. Maybe a solid B?

I would argue that I absolutely got an A, but you wouldn’t remember anyway.

Why don’t you just admit that you wrote those texts and sent them from gn’s phone?

Because considering I couldn’t even text people from MY phone, I doubt I would have been able to manipulate someone else’s.

I may have stolen your lunch money but I spied you smoking beneath the bleachers quite a few times…

That wasn’t me, I was just holding it for a friend.

Yeah, I’m not liking my grade.

I am, however, amazed that you remember seeing me considering your state.

Maybe you should have worked harder during the school year to get a better grade.

My polite texting that I’d contracted the flu from my meeting with the priest and wouldn’t be able to make it doesn’t even register on the report card?! You really do hate Jeebus don’t you?!
And I just know that you probably made cackling “future ball and chain” jokes at my expense in my absence.

You didn’t t get graded for days you were sick from school, did you?

Wow. My grade is the highest! A+!

However, your version of my activities at the Happy Hour is your drunken version.

What you say happened? -

#1 “bought me a beer with someone else’s money”. No. I actually didn’t have any cash on me, and felt dumb putting one beer on my credit card. But since I owed you a beer, that’s what I did.

#2 “made out with a girl.” That’s your fantasy version. Both you and INPY were standing right there when it happened, and neither of you remembered the next day until I refreshed your memories. The real story? Some woman, that I had never even met before, and didn’t know at ALL, grabbed me, kissed me, and stuck her tongue in my mouth. And I think there’s a picture of it out there somewhere, because I saw a camera flash. If you ever find it, what you’d see are my eyes wide open, with a look on my face that says…”What the fuck??” It was interesting to say the least!

Your version sounds better though.

Arjewtino’s Report Card: C- for inaccurately recalling the nights events!

#1: you still bought me a beer with someone else’s money, I don’t care for the reasons.

#2: You still made out with a girl.

Damn, I share the A+ with one other. Thought it was just me.

#1 - I still have the credit card receipt; my credit card, that shows that I paid for your drink.

#2 - She “leaned in.” That means she made out with me.

#1 - You asked someone else first to pay for the drink.
#2 - pronouns are irrelevant: you two made out.

1) Until you actually pay the card off, you bought him a drink with the bank’s money.

2) It takes two to tango

And unrelated, I have a Social Distortion song recommendation for The Bird if she wants it (or even if she doesn’t).

Thank you. And thank you.

Awwww, thanks for the props on the blog name - I can’t believe you remembered it… So much for getting up early the next day.

I tried to warn you.

sorry I missed it, but I was busy brightening other peoples’ lives outside the district. Extracurricular activities and what not.

And I’m glad you and INPY have finally come out of the closet as heterosexual life partners. I guess Madhatters is good for *some*thing.

Our heterosexual love has no bounds.

Now that’s what I’m talking about! We should be twin drunken Jewish blog supermodels. Its like we get in the same room and all of a sudden are possessed by the force of Derek Zoolander.

Or Hansel. Unce Unce.

I never thought I would see the word “Jewish” so close to the word “supermodels”, but I think in our case it works.

There was a Happy Hour Friday?

Didn’t you see Elvis?

I-66 -

#1 Ha, but I paid with my bank card. So it’s already been taken out. Here’s the proof.

#2 I pulled away. I don’t like girl tongue. I was half drunk and I didn’t even like it.

Damn, I tried to include an image with my proof. My HTML didn’t work in the comments. Try this link.

That’s all you spent? Are you Jewish?

I-66 - Hey now. I owed Arjewtino ONE drink.

It was off dahook.

You loved it.

I-66, she most certainly does not want it.
That is all.
The Bird

Take away… take away…

haha yes! i got an A! holla!

i’m glad you enjoyed the fanny pack. & you’re totally NOT supposed to shake polaroids because it messes up the [insert technical word for chemicals in the film here] and can make it blotchy and bubbly.

i hope you hang that picture proudly in your office/ cubicle/ wherever you work.

For someone who constantly boasts to me of his own drinking abilities and his certainty that he could outdrink me, the half shot is still a pussy move in my book.

Next time you will be dominated and will admit defeat.

Fatty.

I got a D?!? That is easily the lowest grade I have ever gotten in my life. I feel like I should thank you for it. Is there a curve in this class?

P.S. D’backs are 3 up on San Diego and 5.5 up on the Dodgers. The Dodgers can’t even catch the team that only wins games because it plays in the grand cavern of baseball stadiums.

That was a fanny pack? I was wondering what the fuck you were wearing on your head.

I had a great time. I wish I could have stuck around longer, but vagina called, so I had to answer!

I’ll make sure to keep the schedule 100% free for the next happy hour. It was great meeting everyone.

thumbs up on the argyle sweater vest and extended pinky finger, gn.

You were good and plastered by the time I arrived which made making fun of you almost too easy. Didn’t stop me of course.

I literally came down 36 hours later. That photo makes me miss you all like crazy. Glad you had such a good time and if I ever come to another HH, I totally owe y’all a drink. MUAH!

No height jokes? I can’t believe I overlooked that.

I kill me.

[…] followed through. I bought him a drink. (Debatable to some, but […]

yes! you put it on your head? ah, i’m sad i missed that.

[…] Also, it seems that ArJewTino enjoyed the fanny pack that I got him. […]

[…] during last Friday night’s blogger happy hour, INPY drunkenly punched me in the face. I told him to take off his glasses and I slugged him right […]

I’ve gotten penile implants in my ear before.