I went to the bathroom in my office yesterday and as I went to open the door, a woman walked out.
I wish I could tell you that I had an extremely funny yet bewildering conversation with her. I wish I could, but I didn’t.
Instead, I said “Thank you” for holding the bathroom door open for me like it was perfectly normal for a woman to walk out of the men’s room.
For all I know she got confused. Or she had a penis. I don’t know, I wasn’t looking for a bulge.
The oddest thing about the brief moment, other than the fact she had been in the men’s room, was that she didn’t act awkward. She smiled a little, paused for me to walk by her, and walked away at a gingerly pace.
And before you ask, yes, she was definitely a woman. Her hips, breasts, and skirt sort of gave her away.
I’ve seen women drunk out of their skulls go to the men’s bathroom in bars. Eager to drop trou and impatient at waiting for the women’s bathroom line to go, these blitzed chicks find it amusing and (in their own minds) charming to take a piss in the men’s room.
“Do you see what I just did?” I can imagine them telling their girlfriends over appletinis and mojitos, “I just went to the little boy’s bathroom. Ha ha! I’m so funny. I’m SUCH a Miranda!”
The office woman wasn’t the first female I have seen use the men’s room.
When I was 5, I walked past the bathroom and saw my 4-year-old sister with her pants down facing the toilet. As I realized what she was attempting to do, I raised my hand and yelled, “Nooooooo….!” at the exact same moment she started to pee straight down and onto the floor.
When I asked her afterward what she was thinking, she told me, “I wanted to pee like you do.”
For the sake of argument, could a woman truly pee like men do? More specifically, can they use the the urinal? Though I am not exactly privy to modern women’s bathroom behavior, I do know (from reading Gene Weingarten’s weekly WaPo chat) that many women consider bathrooms the last vestiges of decent human civilization. Many use rolls of TP to cover the toilet seat and will even perform the “hover” move, which is exactly what it sounds like.
But could a woman “hover” or crouch above the urinal in a pinch?
Now that I have written out that statement, I realize I don’t care. I just think it’s funny.
And the next time I see this crazy woman in my office who likes to use the men’s bathroom, I’ll just raise my hand.
And yell, “Nooooooo….!”.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
So that picture is sort of a turn-on… what does that mean???
lol… as for your bathroom experience, is she at least cute? was there another guy hiding in the handicapped stall? were you so flustered you didn’t see his feet (and pulling up his work pants)? all interesting questions to say the least.
btw, 0-0? Brazil is pedestrian w/o Kaka and a fat Ronaldinho… Messi, almost won it, so close!
These 0-0 scores are killing me. Whatever, it’s just qualifying, they’ll make it through, obviously.
Still, an 8-0 drubbing would be nice.
My brother met his wife in the men’s room. He told that story at his wedding, it was pretty funny.
I think all restrooms should just be unisex. It’s so dumb that they are separated by male/female. Like that book in the window of Kramer’s says: “Everybody Poops.”
Isn’t it funny that that book is still in the window? I have been seeing it there for going on 7 years or so now.
Maybe it’s because it is so true. And we need reminding.
“Though I am not exactly privy to modern women’s bathroom behavior…”
“Privy”. Very clever.
Gilahi’s last blog post..Daytime at BBC America
I was wondering if anyone would catch that. Good eye.
I don’t know about the unisex bathroom idea…perhaps I haven’t used enough of them yet but I always get weirded out by waiting in the same line with attractive women, only to realize they didn’t wash their hands afterwards.
DA’s last blog post..Newsflash: Chris Martin is actually a 5th Grader
I would probably have trouble at first but then, like most things in life, get used to it.
I think any man would rather see a woman coming out of the men’s room at work than this.
The Maiden Metallurgist’s last blog post..Sunshine!
Wrong…funny.
“I just went to the little boy’s bathroom. Ha ha! I’m so funny. I’m SUCH a Miranda!”
Sir, you just made my day with this.
I-66’s last blog post..Balloons
About time!
I will admit I am aroused by that photo, and am currently seeking employ in whatever building that is picture was taken.
Phil’s last blog post..Bush pleads with Playaz to increase oil production from their personal oil rig
something about the photo.
thank *you* for that jpeg.
roissy’s last blog post..I Only Play Games With Girls Who Deserve It
“I just went to the little boy’s bathroom. Ha ha! I’m so funny. I’m SUCH a Miranda!”
It’s so awesome that you just said that.
Rachel’s last blog post..I just passed this to you under your desk. It’s folded into a paper football. Read it at lunch. Not Now. Stop, the teacher will see! SERIOUSLY.
Is it possible this female office worker is a pre-operative MTF transsexual?
That said, I think more bathrooms should be unisex. I’ve used the men’s room before when the line for the women’s has been way too long and I really have to wee. I always wash my hands afterward, too, fwiw!
Oh, and there’s a lovely little apparatus for women called a “She Wee.” Let’s ‘em stand and pee like a man. Check it out here: http://www.shewee.com/
I was busting so headed straight for the solitary cubicle in a public toilet thinking this place was pretty stingy to only have one cuiblce. I freaked out when I opened the door to see 4 men standing at a urinal which I hadn’t noticed on entering and each of them turned their heads when they heard the click clack of my high heels on the tiled floor. They all gave me this quizzical smirk - almost as if they were wondering if THEY’D walked into the wrong toilet. I laughed but must say I was embarrassed.
Artful Kisser’s last blog post..Random Conversation #36
My sister tried peeing standing up for the same reason. And she had the same amount of success.
Peeing standing up is a common thing in women’s bathrooms in West Hollywood.
That’s what I heard once.
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There certainly have been times when I wished I could pee like a man!
Diane Mandy’s last blog post..What I didn’t blog about this week
A girlfriend of mine, yes, at a bar, went into the mens room on accident. The great thing was, she came out as a man walked up to go in. She fussed at him and pointed to the other door. He went into the ladies room. As he came out, three ladies who were about to walk in, turned hastily and went into the mens room… they immediately ran out! We thought it was a pretty good chain of mis-direction - esp. as each door was clearly labeled.
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I accidentally walked into the men’s bathroom yesterday after reading this post. I blame you.
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