I had to go to my bank yesterday to get a new PIN assigned to my ATM card.
No, no one stole my private number. And no, I didn’t suspect that anyone had access to it.
The truth is…holy frozen barf, this is so fucking embarrassing…I sort of forgot what it was.
I blame Wachovia for this. After all, no self-respecting Jew would blame himself.
When I received a new ATM card last year after someone stole my wallet in Guatemala, the now-under-investigation bank (that has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?) issued me a new PIN.
This number was randomly generated and had nothing to do with anything remotely connected to anything meaningful about my life, unlike Alyssa Milano’s birthday or the age I lost my virginity. Still, because I am capable of memorizing four numbers as long as the end result is the receipt of money, I was able to lock up this random PIN in the recesses of my head.
But while in Costa Rica, I withdrew money from The Princess’ account using her ATM card. I started to think about how similar her PIN was to mine and as I thought about the number, the digits bounced around in my mind and before I knew it…POOF. Gone.
More than 2,000 miles away from the nearest Wachovia branch, I could no longer remember my own PIN. Why my brain decided to take a vacation on something this important is beyond me.
I wish I could have forgotten something less important instead, like the plot of The Kite Runner or what happened on prom night.
I tried everything. I entered several possible possibilities. I calculated endless combinations in my head (usually while on the toilet for the eighth time that day). I even tried not thinking about it and hoped it would come to me in my dreams.
Nothing worked.
So yesterday I went to Wachovia to withdraw some cash from a real live teller and recalibrate my card with a new — with MY — PIN.
Except much like its ability to not lose billions of dollars, Wachovia’s little plastic PIN-creating doohickey (that’s what they call it, I checked) didn’t work.
The branch manager tried five times to assign me a new PIN, sliding my card in and out of the technological marvel, checking the cables under the desk, and even smacking it once on its side. Each time, though, its digital screen read: “FAILED CONNECTION.”
“You’d think in this day and age, Wachovia would use something more advanced than something that looks like it was put together with Legos,” I told her.
She looked at me with the dead, cold eyes of someone who knows what the words “failing financial institution” mean.
In the end, she advised me to go to a different branch where the process was much faster and actually inspired confidence that my money wouldn’t float away into the ether. I got my new PIN and made a mental note to not forget it.
Now if I could just remember Alyssa Milano’s birthday.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
December 19, 1972. I only know that because it’s 5 days after mine, and I judge how well I’m aging by how I look compared to her.
I think this post made me forget MY PIN. Thanks a lot.
Shannon’s last blog post..Slacker Tuesday List Post: Rules for Living
If it helps any, Arlo Guthrie’s birthday is July 10, 1947. No reason.
gilahi’s last blog post..More People Who Are Unclear On The Concept
ha, that was a good post… i had the same situation after a long vacation in middle or high school, and forgetting my locker combination… thank god i always wrote it down somewhere special, just like our 593 passwords we need to have today (and change every week per security measures) for our work, email, banks, mortgages, school loans, phones, power, water, cable, payroll, timesheets, etc…
*sigh* i wish i could forget The Kite Runner, too.
namaste’s last blog post..What Really Happens on Sabbatical
The BF banks at Wachovia too. It was not pleasant to see his face when he heard the news last night. This as we are trying to buy a house and a car. CRAP!
Not So Little Woman’s last blog post..If only I could be there with you
In a way, I had the opposite experience with my first Real Bank Account as an adult. When First Virginia got bought by BB&T, they sent me a new card and a new PIN, which I couldn’t change. At all. And, like yours it isn’t connected to anything in my life (aside from my need for cash), so it took me a while to settle it into my brain. Now it’s reflex, but I too fear the day where it slips my mind, because I have no idea how I’d come up with it on my own…
WiB’s last blog post..The importance of word choice
Maybe you should take a cue from those old people who keep their ATM card in that white paper sleeve (does anyone know what I’m talking about?), and then have their PIN number written right on the sleeve.
Of course if you lose THAT…well then you’re really fucked.
I think you just managed to finally destroy all those Jew/money stereotypes. I mean, if all Jews were obsessed with cash, how could one forget his PIN?
BTW, I once forgot my SSN the same way. The last 7 digits of it were nearly identical to a friend’s phone number, just with a couple digits reversed. Really sucked when I had to wait an extra 6 weeks for my tax refund one year after writing that phone number on my 1040 instead of my SSN.
JustinS’s last blog post..Back.
You KNOW how susceptible Jews are - this post is dangerous. Even as I am typing numbers are swirling in my head and fear is churning my guts.
I have to go to my ATM now to make sure my pin works.
Judy C’s last blog post..Sticky Note Tuesday
How could you forget your pin if it was 6969? I know your type.
That’s dirty Arjewtino. Dirty.
rs27’s last blog post..Lets Take This Town
I often forget important numbers…combinations, ssn, birthdays, pins, ect…but I’m so used to it that I don’t even panic when I realize I’ve forgotten one…or several
milanomiss’s last blog post..Unfortunatly, I don’t accept Facebook friends anymore
My husband has two Wachovia accounts, one of which is in his name but is actually for his family (that live abroad) which he helps support. Every other month they have problems withdrawing money using their ATM card because it is flagged by security because the withdrawal is obviously done overseas. We have called time and time again, had the account noted, but we still have problems. Chicken shit operation indeed!
Diane Mandy’s last blog post..You can run, but you can’t hide
Is it Bosco?
Sean’s last blog post..Mr. Taylor Goes to Washington
At least I was there to be your sugar momma!
Sweet soccer satan, I thought I was the only one who had these moments of Irrational Brain Disease (IBD). So you can’t blame the Jews this time, boss. You’ve just had the sacred experience of a moment inside my own tired brain…. congratulations.
IntangibleArts’s last blog post..WASA Big Idea? Part 3
I think it’s “6006″ (boob)