I once met someone who hadn’t known many Jews.
He asked me about being Jewish, listening curiously as I discussed what it was like to grow up Jewish, especially a Reformed one who rarely abided by many of my religion’s customs.
After several minutes of listening to me speak on what it means to be a Jew and sharing some of my stories, he looked up at me with excitement in his eyes, placed his hands over his head in the shape of a halo, and asked, “Does that mean you get to wear one of those cool little beanie hats?”
“Yes,” I responded while fighting the urge to laugh, “yes, it does.”
The truth is, there haven’t been many instances when I have had to wear one of those cool little beanie hats yarmulke.
Weddings. Funerals. Mitzvahs, both Bar and Bat. That’s about it.
I have almost never worn one outside a synagogue and have certainly never worn one as part of my day-to-day life. Also called a kippah, this religious skullcap that is meant to remind us that God is above us has had little reason to rest on my Jewie little noggin.
But I see these conspicuous suckers all the time. And I have always wondered what it would be like to wear one.
The reason for wearing a kippah is found in the Talmud. In Shabbat 156b, it states: “Cover your head in order that the fear of heaven may be upon you.”
Well, I don’t fear “heaven” and I certainly have made it 33 years so far without it threatening me. Still, what is it like to go all day having one on your head?
So as a social experiment, today I will wear a yarmulke all day. On the Metro. At work. When I go to the gym in the evening. I will keep it on my head all day to see how other people react (if at all) and to see how I myself react to the extreme wardrobe change. And I will write about my experience tomorrow.
Will I get stares? Will I feel the fear of heaven above me? Will people approach me and ask me questions I can’t answer? Hey Jew! Why do we celebrate Purim?
I don’t know.
I suspect, really, that nothing will happen. Nothing at all. People will probably go about their business like any other Tuesday in DC and I will probably even forget I’m wearing a head lid. I mean, what would happen? I’ve seen people wear diapers out in public; a semi-ubiquitous piece of cloth on my skull is not exactly a head turner.
But you never know and that’s why I want to do it. Whenever I see a fellow Jew wearing one, I want to connect with him. I want to show him the silver Star of David hanging around my neck and say, “I get you, brother.” I want to feel that solidarity even though his Orthodoxness (Orthodoxiosity?) scares the Jesus out of me.
Check in tomorrow to find out what happened.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
God, I can’t wait. I’m not gonna lie, I do notice the handful of undergraduates here who wear their yarmulkes.
And I don’t judge. Look at me, bro, it’s like I’m growing or something!
Did you just say you don’t judge. Now that is funny.
You should also talk about when you loudly stated at a bar mitzvah “Kippah? keep a kippah on your head? Is that why its called that?”
You totally fucked it up. It’s “Keepah? Keepah what? Keepah yamurkle on!”
Man, I was such a nerd. Yes, was.
Ok, so I’m like the dude who grilled you before in that I don’t know many (if any) Jews…
So I, too, have a question:
Is it disrespectful for non-Jews to work the yarmulke like Dubya is in that picture?
Or is it kinda like when you liked a band while they were still nobodies, then you see the frat dude wearing their t-shirt after they finally Make It Big? You just wanna punch ‘em in the neck for being such a tool?
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Not really offensive, not to me anyway. He just looks silly, like Dukakis did in that fucking tank.
I am sure your fellow Jews appreciate you utilizing the yarmulke for a social experiment.
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The Reformed ones will.
Are you going with the standard white or branching out to something more fashionable? Is it a statement piece, something you could walk the runways in?
I only had the one to choose from. You’ll see tomorrow.
You get extra points with God if you use the bobby pins to clip the beanie to your hair.
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You think God would care? He is pretty moody, you might be right.
do you still have ones leftover from your Bar Mitzvah with your BM info/date stamped inside? I totally could have lent you one of the many we had left after mine (although I think at some point we gave most back to ‘gogue in the “I need to borrow a yarmulke” pile”
Oh man, H, I have a huge confession to make to you. You’re not going to like it. E-mail me to find out.
Sounds similar to seeing folks with black smudges on their foreheads on Ash Wednesday. You’re kinda like, “Oh, OK.”
Can’t wait to see the results.
I once attended mass during Ash Wednesday with a Catholic friend. I told her I’d go if I didn’t have to get ash smudged on my forehead. I didn’t, however, escape that annoying custom of greeting the people next to you.
I wore one, along w/ all the men, at a wedding last month… i kind of liked it. I always wanted to know how they stay on all day, and now i know, bobby pins!
I don;t need bobby pins, but then again, I don’t have gay gel in my hair.
We played a jewish High School in basektball, and they even wore them during the game.
Phil’s last blog post..Emailed from Bon’s blackberry
Who won? I have an idea.
’scares the Jesus out of me’ is one of my favorite phrases you’ve every written. and speaking as a shiksa, i know a thing or two about being Jesus scared.
It can only go downhill from here.
You look so cute in your beanie!
I know. Like it should come as a shock.
This Jew thinks this is great. In reality, super religious Jews are always trying to get non-practicing Jews to wear funny costumes, pray in Minions (groups of 10 required by jesus or whatever to pray proper-like) or generally pretend to give a shit about Judaism. So rather than find it mocking, most Hassids would get a hard on for Arjew’s social experiment. The only thing they’d like better is for him to wear the thing for 2 days.
I left the tzitzis at home. But you’re right, it would have been even better to add to the “costume”.
I can’t wait for the results! Awesome!
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Done and done, you’ll see tomorrow.
Will it actually stay on at the gym?
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Not during the bench presses.
Whats the difference between a bar and bat mitzvah? Seriously, there’s no punchline.
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Oh, my undereducated Indian friend. Bar is for boys, bat is for girls.
haha. i hope you took pictures!
girls don’t wear those right? would it be sacreligious if a girl wore one?
They don;t wear them, no, it’s part of some ancient boys only club thing. Like penises.
Yarmulkes and penises: for Jewish men only.
Wait, that sounded so wrong.
Oh what fun this experiment was…
Perhaps even more so for you.
Interesting. I’m curious as to how this goes. My prediction is that you found a Dodgers yarmulke and are wearing it around so that random people will talk to you about Torre and Manny.
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I wish. If you have one and have been holding out on me, I’ll be pissed.
Great. Now I have Hava Nagila running through my head, over and over…
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Yes, they were not that good.
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