Friday, March 7th, 2008...10:17 am
I would never belong to any No Cussing Club that would have someone like me as a member*
“See, it doesn’t hurt anyone! Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck.” — Cartman, in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Ever since I was a child and first heard the word mierda and hijo de puta (the mother of all Spanish profanity), I have been fascinated with cussing. Its etymology, its derivatives, its immediate ability to convey exactly what I’m feeling.
Luckily for me, some high school freshman named McKay Hatch has founded a club that might help where dirty looks and scolding reprimands have failed: the No Cussing Club.
McKay, probably in an ill-advised attempt to get back at his parents for saddling him with such a ridiculous first name, also got his hometown of South Pasadena this week to issue a proclamation outlawing foul language. And not a moment too soon.
If it’s not Jane Fonda saying the word “cunt” on morning TV it’s Diane Keaton uttering the word “fuck”. If it’s not a DC mayoral staffer getting fired for saying the perfectly innocuous word “niggardly” it’s parents washing their children’s mouth out with toxic soap on the show “Supernanny”.
Cursing is out of control in this country and the future of our impressionable children is finally in the capable hands of a kid barely into puberty.
Wait. Fuck this. What am I talking about? I love cursing! I don’t need to join any club. Phew!
Cursing is under attack, quickly becoming modern society’s easy scapegoat, the “violent video games” of the 90s. I have lately been reading story after story about how profanity is ruining civilization and corrupting society.
And that’s really too fucking bad. Because profanity might be the greatest method of communication we humans have ever come up with.
Cussing was originally restricted to the use of blasphemy, sacrilege or using the Lord’s name in vain. Luckily for us, it evolved into a multi-use means of expression, communication, and comedy gold. Imagine a world where George Carlin’s seven dirty words didn’t exist. Or where you had nothing to say during sex. Or where Bucky Dent ’s only middle name was “Earl”.
Cursing can be cathartic, colorful, witty, and necessary. It has been around as long as people have stubbed their toes into chairs and will be around as long as George W. Bush has a hot mic nearby.
So I really don’t understand why a kid with two last names felt it necessary to go around telling his hometown what to say. Or not say, really. McKay’s Web site dedicated to converting perfectly normal people into no-cussing androids. McKay features photos of its members and he even sells orange wrist bands like he’s Lance Fucking Armstrong.
The high school freshman explains on his site that he started this movement because his cuss-happy friends swore so much they didn’t even realize they were doing it. Also, colleges eat this shit up.
Through the No Cussing Challenge I realized that I could use POSITIVE PEER PRESSURE on my friends. If my friends could say no to cussing, how much easier will it be for them to say no to drugs, violence, and pornography.”
Studies have shown banning profanity from the workplace lowers morale. That forbidding it makes people say it more. And that, last time I checked, it has yet to bring a civilization to its knees.
Is cursing really such a huge issue that it requires attention from public resources? Couldn’t his high school have benefited more from a Don’t Get Pregnant or You’ll Fuck Up Your Life Club? Shouldn’t the school system make its lack of well-paid, highly qualified teachers a higher priority?
I think this girl named “chrissy” sums it up perfectly on a blog I found.
cussing is bad but you have todo it sometimes. i mean when someboby is annoying you you or you really hate somebody you feel like you have to. but if people think it is so bad like parents then why do they do it. if your older and you cuss it is not bad but if a kid does the room is silent. i feel that it is not bad at all. the president does it i bet.”
* MY blog post title is a paraphrase from a famous Groucho Marx quote that goes, “I don’t care to belong to a club that would accept someone like me as a member.”
28 Comments
March 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
That is a 14 year old with some seriously screwed up priorities. What would adolescence have been like without swearing and pornography? Sad indeed.
The Maiden Metallurgist’s last blog post..Freegans
March 7th, 2008 at 11:09 am
In high school, the bitchy (and stupid) girl in my English class once told me that cursing is a tool for the ignorant. I told her she was fatuous mountebank. When she asked me what that meant, I told her it meant she was a stupid fucking bitch. Not an exact definition, but I think I got my point across. Somewhere, my 10th grade English teacher is very, very proud.
belmontmedina’s last blog post..birthday shout-outs
March 7th, 2008 at 11:28 am
God, I just love the effect the word “cunt” can have on a conversation. Those four letters are a dream.
And while I whole heartedly admit that this is all insane and ridiculous, and people should say whatever they damn well please, I gotta admit there is still a part of me that would cringe if my 5 year old nephew uttered the word fuck. I am a hypocrite.
Lemmonex’s last blog post..The Devil(s) Made Me Do It
March 7th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Swearing just for swearing’s sake is lame and completely undermines a good curse word’s power.
Swearing to make/emphasize/dramatize a point or to shed some steam is absofuckinglutely necessary and feels fanfuckingtastic.
Hannah’s last blog post..A note to nostalgia.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
What is the big fuckin’ deal???
Go fuckin’ Sox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 7th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Join the no cursing club and have an ugly girl harem of your own!
March 7th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I prefer to use words like balderdash and fiddlesticks
mm’s last blog post..to sex or not to sex
March 7th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
I like to brag about how I could curse like a sailor before I even became a sailor (1995). Cursing is one of those acts that can really make you feel better about a shitty situation. If I couldn’t curse, Oh My Fucking God - how would I communicate?
Yes, the English language is full of interesting adjectives to describe just about anything, but there is truly nothing more satisfying than a well-placed “GOD-damnit!!” or “Fuck you!” in the middle of a deep philosophical conversation.
And, it’s juct plain fun to curse!!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
PSA: in russian, suka is a conversation stopper.
there is nothing funnier than a little kid cussing. when my 3 year old niece starts going on about her “motherfucking slut doll on the rag” i just have to chuckle.
as dick fucking cheney is my witness, i swear it’s true!
roissy’s last blog post..Obesity To Blame For Game
March 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
And now I will suggest that anyone who hasn’t listened to Blink 182’s Family Reunion do so post haste.
For the lazy, here’s a youtube presentation. NSFW!!
I-66’s last blog post..Dear 10,000 BC,
March 7th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
my new years resolution is to be able to cuss like a brit..or an irishman….i know i know..the bar is pretty high..but..ive been practising…trying not to cock it up..oh bollocks..bobs your uncle…
xoxo
xoxo
suicide_blond’s last blog post..dirty sexy beast?
March 7th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I refuse to listen to fucking blink 182. Oh wait there I go. People from Massachusetts wrote the book on swearing.
“Fucking” is universal adjective. It’s almost meaningless.
It can be neutral:
“I gotta go to the fucking packy.” O
Chatty: “Oh yeah, I saw that fucking movie!”
Positive: “Fucking-A, barney, that’s fucking great!”
It’s neither bad nor good. As people from Foxboro say, it is what it is.
In sports, if it’s a local hero having a bad day, “Fucking” becomes a first name. “Fucking Brady.” “Fucking Manny,” etc. But it they are truly and completely loathed, fucking becomes the middle name.
Johnny Fucking Damon, Aaron Fucking Boone or Bucky Fucking Dent.
Suck on that, fucking fucktards.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
I’m with you on doesn’t his school have better programs to support? although I can’t imagine things are that bad in South Pasadena. but it’s not like there aren’t areas pretty damn close that could use some charitable assistance!
March 7th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
For what it’s worth, it is less than 40 seconds long.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
i always make it my new years resolution to swear less. i think thats because i’m always coming from hanging out with my parents and they question where i got my “trashy” language from because it certainly was not them. i can count on one hand the number of times i’ve heard my parents combined swear.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I wish she had started the “No Cussing in Front of or at Your Teacher Club.” I don’t care if kids do it when they’re by themselves, but when it’s in front of or at a teacher or adult…sheesh. Look at me–I am so old now!
March 7th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Why would anyone want to say know to pornography? Fuck that.
eric’s last blog post..TWSSF
March 7th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
My parents didn’t curse until they started watching me play baseball in high school. Then they let the expletives fly!
rs27’s last blog post..I Hate Everything About You
March 7th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
f*ckin’ a.
Kato’s last blog post..hallelujah
March 7th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
shit!
March 7th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
“Imagine a world….where you had nothing to say during sex.” Hilarious. What would we say? “Heavens to Betsy. Balderdash me now. Fiddleflippinsticks! Fiddlestick me now! Ooh yeah, flip me with your big rooster” or somesuch.
Artful Kisser’s last blog post..Woke Up This Mornin’
March 7th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I think people need to get more creative with their cursing. In the olden days, curses were so much more meaningful. Whilst “May the black death be upon ye!” doesn’t have the same sharp ring to it as “fuck off,” I think the black death would be much more unpleasant. Don’t you think?
E :)’s last blog post..Dying, Ferris. Dying…
March 8th, 2008 at 9:24 am
I gave up cursing for Lent. It was easier giving up sweets last year.
Bridal Bird’s last blog post..Why The Bridal Industry Hates Us Friday
March 8th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Cussing is the shit. That kid’s a total pussy.
How has he not had the shit kicked out of him yet?
March 9th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I cringe that you felt the need to explain the Groucho Marx reference. Or maybe, like the brown M&Ms, it’s a generational thing.
March 9th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
a fucking brilliant post.
namaste’s last blog post..Making Love to the World; תיקון עול×
March 10th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Cursing in moderation is fine, but someone who is incapable of stringing together three sentences without inserting a profanity has a problem. Just screams low class.
That said, “bleedin’ cunt” is my curse of choice.
March 11th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Curse all you want kids, but for fucksake just don’t use “like” when you could just pause instead. I almost blew my brains out on a flight yesterday due to the babbling idiot teen sitting one row in front of me. Here’s a summary of the conversation: “So, like, he was like, ummm, like running and like, then he fell like, really hard.” shudder
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.