“When we first met, I thought you were a jerk.â€
It’s Saturday night and I’m celebrating the end of the softball season with my team at Cue Bar. My teammate Vu has sprung this nugget of information on me. She’s had a few glasses of “liquid courageâ€.
“What?†I exclaim. “Why?â€
This is not the first time I made a bad first impression. Some people just don’t like me. Even my best friend Blue, who I met in third grade at Welby Way Elementary, couldn’t stand me when we first met as 8-year-olds. In his words, I “ran around too much†during recess and “couldn’t keep stillâ€. Twenty-four years later, he’s still the guy I’d call to bail me out of jail.
“No,†Vu continued, “I mean, when I first met you I thought you were a jerk but now I know you’re not.â€
We all know the importance of good first impressions. I, apparently, don’t give them. Sometimes my reputation even beats me to it. Eight years ago, a co-worker who joined the newspaper I worked at thought I was a snob before she even met me. She told me this during a work happy hour. When I asked her why, she explained it was because I was from LA.
There are a lot of reasons, I think, why people don’t like me upon meeting me.
- I come across as arrogant.
- I correct people’s grammar (sorry, Tits McGee, but I was implying something, not inferring it).
- I’m not from the east coast.
We all make these pre-judgments –- of people, of places, and of things. That’s actually the ironic thing. We place so much emphasis on first impressions yet are so often mistaken down the road.
For instance, this flash advertisement popped up recently on some web site I was visiting:
My initial thought was, “Nice. Just a couple of lesbian women who enjoy hugging.†A few seconds later, exactly what the advertisement was about became clear:
Oops.
But it happens all the time. Our brains are just trying to simplify an already complex world by breaking it down into readily understood parts. The brain’s act of generalizing explains stereotyping and why some people liked the movie “Fever Pitch”.
Back to Saturday night — Vu assured me she didn’t think I was a jerk. I told her it was ok, that I can be sometimes, but I was glad she and I had become friends. She smiled and turned around.
That’s when I snapped a picture of her ass.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t know. Those look like hugging lesbians to me. They can get cancer too, you know.
I have no retort. That cracked me up.
that’s funny. when i first met you and the rest of the faa boys (at the first happy hour) i didn’t know what to think. i was like, well, that was interesting…. fun, but definitely very interesting.
That’s because of Norman. He’s crazy. I love it.
yeah, I totally thought you were a jerk when I first met you. It’s funny how we have the opposite problem, people think I’m nice at first and only find out that I’m a jerk later.
That’s right, I forgot about that. That’s because I yelled at you — and most of the team — during our first kickball game.
I didn’t think that about you. But then again, I’m dating Bergle, who can be a condescending asshole to the untrained observer. But really isn’t.
I’m the same way. I met you during the first HH I hosted; I was trying to make a good first impression. If I hadn’t been trying, I would have probably acted more dickish.
When I first met you I thought you were verbose, but then I realized it is because you are so wordy.
Sorry, I wanted to pipe in but I have nothing intelligent to say. I have never met you off your blog. But I suppose if I ever do, I shall tell you right away what I think of you.
Then you will yell “Stranger! Danger!” and I will slink away.
But I like what you write.
Great first impression, Bug. Funny yet arrogant. I like it.
That’s odd, I thought you were really nice when I first met you. You bought me a shot and told me how nice it is to be 30.
I’m always nice to people on their birthdays. Yours was a big one so of course I was going to make a good first impression.
It’s all been downhill since then, huh?
When I first met you, I thought the Princess was your sister. Then I saw you make out with her and I thought “so it’s true what they say about Argy’s and incest”. Then the Princess told me she wasn’t jewish and I remembered you were, and I thought “just because they are different religions, doesn’t mean that the incest is okay.”
Wow, that’s a lot of interesting assumptions. When I first met you, I thought you were my waiter.
Everyday I go to make some comment on a blog and I-66 has beaten to it. I don’t know him at all and yet I think he might be my new arch nemisis. Anyway, I have a similar “problem” as you, perhaps in a different way. I can be a quiet around people I don’t know well it apparently it comes off as arrogant, like I think I’m better than that person. I mean, I do, but I don’t want anyone to think that.
I feel the same way, except I actually tell people I’m better than them. Try mixing it up a little.
Anyone who can appreciate my attempts to avoid split infinitives is a man in whom (yep, I did that) I can see great value.
That was the greatest moment I had all of last week. That’s just sad.
See, if you really were the jerk she thought you were, you’d post the picture of her ass. Or, if you cared about your readers. Either way.
I’d be curious about how the impression would differ depending on whether people had read the blog prior to meeting you. I had figured you’d be pretty funny in person based on the blog.
I mean, I was completely wrong, but it seemed reasonable at the time.
That’s a good question. I can tell you that people who knew me before my blog still think I’m an idiot and aren’t fooled by the blog. People who met me after reading the blog think I’m amazing until they get to know me and then realize I’m an idiot and aren’t fooled by the blog.
From what I’ve heard, that assumption was right on the mark. I mean, the not from the east coast… really? And now assuming cancerous good news is really all about lesbians? What’s next?
So, let me get this straight…..If I bail you out then you are free and can continue blogging, but if I leave you in jail, arjewtino.com is officially done…Just keep waiting. I’ll be there. Fer sure.
You’re just bitter for making you wait 45 minutes at BWI that one time because I was having sex. I’m 61% sure you’d bail me out of jail.
Speaking of lesbians, Don’t forget the bit about pretending we were gay to get to know the girls making out better…asshole.
Oh yeah. I thought about mentioning it but then my gay fans would think there’s hope. I’m looking at you, Nickels.
It was all fun and games until you grabbed my ass.
i bet i have you beat on first impressions..
for example…monday..
everyplace i went they thought i was a hooker…let them think what they will…
..i got a free tank of gas out of it!!!!
xoxo
That. Is. Awesome.
Sometimes people think I’m a bitch when I first meet them.
And they’re right!
Anyone who’s seen those photos of you as a little girl would never think that.
I definitely agree with what you wrote, and it especially applies when it comes to dating someone. Pretty much the first three months are a first impression. After that 91st day, people get tired and finally stop giving a fuck about putting their “best foot forward.” That’s when you see who you’re really dealing with!
@ Eric, I66 beat me to the punch, too! I was thinking to myself “Maybe they’re lesbians with cancer. Or maybe even cancerous lesbians. They’re pretty close up on each other…” lol
It takes you three months? I give up the facade after three weeks.
What was your first impression of her ass?
My friend Steve constantly reminds me of this.
“You were such a bitch when I first met you.”
Gee thanks.
Now I consider him one of my closest friends. It happens. I like to think it keeps me sort of mysterious. For the record - I didn’t think you were a jerk. But Jo’s Bergle - yeah… I wanted nothing to do with that guy. Now I love him almost as much as I love Jo (and of course you Arjewtino).
Jerk.
Stop being such a bitch.
Although this has very little to do with your post and nothinig to do with the comments, I recently watched the British version of “Fever Pitch” with Colin Firth. Decent movie (nothing great), but about 50 times better than the Jimmy Fallon version.
You might want to let Brunch Bird know.
Maybe the girls in the picture are incestuous lesbians with cancer.
Not hot/hot/not hot.
When I first met you, I just thought you were fat.
The asshole thing doesn’t bother me, I can match you there.
Boy, for a guy who claims not to like Fever Pitch you sure do talk about it a lot. Sort of becoming your “I have a wide stance,” eh?
I’m into a deep shame spiral.
Fever Pitch is one of the worst movies to ever exist. End of story.
And I really hope those italics worked, because I hate putting movie titles in quotation marks. Almost as much as I hate putting novels and books into quotation marks. Which is almost as much as I hate fat Jews.
You bitch and moan about how I never respond to your blog any more and I finally haul my ass all the way over here and you can’t be bothered to respond?
Someone’s being a Bitter Bertha…
Another reason people might think you’re a jerk is that when you think you are correcting someone’s grammar, you’re actually correcting their diction.
You correct people’s grammar and make bad first impressions, too? If I weren’t a lesbian and you weren’t taken, we’d soooo be together.
Or something like that.